Letters to Brooke and Sara

The amazing LJ-Erica/Callie-community asked us to writer letters to Brooke and Sara to send them. So I did. I had a really difficult time writing the one to Sara because to me, the writers f*cked Callie up pretty badly and I'm angry at them and at Callie a bit too. Obviously, I didn't want to tell her that, because it's not her fault, so I wrote something different.

My letter to Brooke:

Dear Brooke Smith,

Thank you for being brave and putting so much emotion into the portrayal of one of the most *real* characters on TV, Erica Hahn.

Most people will probably say that the ‘leaves/glasses’ scene was your best and I have to agree, your acting in it was definitely Emmy-worth and just amazing. But the scenes that spoke to me even more were different ones. The first moment that made me fall in love with Erica completely was in the scene in which Erica helped Callie move into the new apartment. When you/Erica touched Callie, my heart literally skipped a beat and I felt like ‘This is real, their chemistry is real, their affection for each other is real.’ The second scene that spoke to me even more was when you/Erica watched Callie get on the elevator. The smile that you had on your face spoke louder and clearer than any words could ever have. I will always remember that moment as the ‘Cutest. Callica. Moment. Ever.’ And honestly, who hasn’t watched someone they are completely smitten with with a bright smile on their face? I know I have.

Even though it didn’t last as long as I would have wished, having two beautiful, stunning, interesting, complex, *real* female characters on TV deal with their feelings for each other made my world a better place. I know I am not the only one when I say that you have affected me in a way only very few actresses have and I am forever grateful for your courage and willingness to take on ‘difficult’ characters. The range of emotions you showed from 'bad-ass cardio goddess Hahn' to 'soft, head over heels in love Erica' blew my mind.

One thing is for sure, I will follow you and your career, no matter where it will lead us!

Your biggest fangirl in Austria,
Nelfy


My letter to Sara:

Dear Sara Ramirez!

When Callie was first introduced as a possible love interest for George, I loved how you played her as a strong woman who knew what she wanted. I didn’t like how George treated Callie and how much Callie changed throughout the storyline, even though I was always blown away by your acting talent. You were allowed to be sexy, vulnerable, angry, hurt, strong and funny as Callie and I always loved how multi-dimensional your character was.

I was so excited to see the friendship between Erica and Callie blossom. It made sense that two smart doctors who disliked the drama would strike up a connection and even though we were only allowed to see small glimpses, I was completely sold on the chemistry between Erica and Callie. Never before have I been so invested in a fictional couple – I even went so far to write fanfiction to keep me sane over the summer. Needless to say, I am very disappointed that you weren’t allowed to play Callie as ‘clingy’, because I would have loved to see that!

I will forever be grateful that you are bold and brave enough to dance in your underwear, pee naked and take off your shirt on national television. As a girl who is drawn to *real* women with *real* bodies, I will never understand how size 0 is considered attractive in Hollywood. You are so gorgeous just the way you are!

Just like with Erica, my memories with Callie will always be very bittersweet, but my admiration for you as an actress and a person will not be tainted by the network's decision. Thank you for being an ally and a friend to the LGBT community. This is just one reason why I look up to you!

Your biggest fangirl in Austria,
Nelfy

Sara Ramirez rocks my world

Daydreaming and science

Largest screen in Austria @ Bergisel

First of all, sorry to the three (approximately) people who regularly read my little blog that it has been so long since my last update. I've been busy with organizing my little event, university and daydreaming about Callie and Sara and Brooke.

The event I'm organizing is moving along surprisingly well. Today, I got the permission for the budget and I found another friend who will help me make coffee and with whatever I need help. I've finally also been told that we can actually buy some more coffee makers, even though I technically am not allowed to buy them. But my "boss" will take care of that. I really hope that the invitation e-mail will be sent out tomorrow, I already sent it to the university yesterday evening and they should send those things out right away. The university refuses to give us the e-mail addresses (which they legally would be required to do), so I have to be nice and hope that they will send it out tomorrow, if they haven't done that until noon I'll probably have to call them. So now, next week, I'll have to buy all the food and drinks and then I'm ready.

I had a small written exam today and I had to re-calculate the first exercise about 4 times because I had miscalculations everywhere. I guess an exam at 8 in the morning is not exactly a good idea, but I hope that in the end, I don't have too many mistakes in it. We'll see...

There was something interesting in the paper today: Swedish scientists have found out that men's brains have a typical asymmetry - their right side of the brain is slightly larger than the left side. Women's brains however are symmetrical. BUT: Gay men's brains are symmetrical and lesbians' brains are asymmetrical! The scientists don't know for sure whether this difference already exists when we are born (obviously, you can't ask a baby whether it's straight and there exist no long-term studies yet) or whether this asymmetry develops due to hormones. Interesting! I am pretty certain that I was born gay, because I had a very strong tendency towards the female gender ever since I was little, but that's just me. Honestly, I'm not sure whether I want to know why some people are straight and others are not, because if scientists know they might also find a "cure" and I don't feel like I need to be cured. I like the mystery around this subject, even though the stereotypes bother me (homosexuals were molested as kids, it's a choice, ...).

There is this saying (is it something Austrian/European??): "I live in my own world, but that's ok because they know me there." That saying describes me perfectly, I'm a big old daydreamer. Lately, I've been daydreaming what it would be like to actually meet Sara Ramirez or Brooke Smith (surprise! ya'll didn't think I would be daydreaming about those two, right??). So, amazed by my own inability to stop thinking about them, I wikipediad obsession and decided to proceed to obsessive love. I know that I'm pretty OCD sometimes - eg, the pens in my pencil case all MUST face in one direction, if someone borrows a pen and puts it back facing the wrong direction I HAVE to turn it around. I'm often afraid that I will starve to death (my mum says that's because my dad's parents are from Siebenbürgen/Transilvania, they also had that fear of starving to death), so when we would go away on holiday I'd always have enough food with me. I've been able to stop worrying about food because now I always have enough money with me to buy something to eat and I've learned that I will not starve to death, it'll rather be the opposite - I'll die of having eaten too much fat and sugar. Anyways, my point is that even my friends in school would sometimes call me Monk for being OCD about something. Obviously, I'm not seriously mentally ill, I'm just odd. Anyways, wikipedia says about obsessive love that can come from leisure, feelings of vulnerability (check!), a perceived failure to belong (check!), feelings of being special and/or different (check!), feelings of distance from peers (check!) and particular childhood experiences (semi-check). 4 1/2 out of 6? Not bad. I'm past the stalking (you know - been there, done that) and I'm definitely not THAT obsessed - I wouldn't try to kill someone to get someone else's attention (John Hinckley). BUT, I wonder whether my obsessions have anything to do with the fact that I've never dated someone or the fact that I feel really queasy when I'm in a group with more than, say 3-5 people. On the other hand, which of these things is the cause and which the effect? Hm, right now I feel like this blog is really self-cleansing.

OCD @ Nelfy ;-)

On a lighter note: I went to watch the soccer game Austria vs Germany at the Bergisel stadium. The Bergisel ramp is used for ski jumping and there was a demo jumping which we unfortunately missed because it took us forever to get through security. But it was a great experience, the stadium holds over 15.000 viewers and I think that there might have actually been that many people! Austria lost, but I was counting on that already, even though they were playing good. When we made our way down to the city through the forest path, some cars were driving next to use, slowly because of all the people. A friend of mine said out loud whether one of the cars would take us down and then one driver actually asked us whether we wanted to drive down with him! We were a group of four girls, so I didn't hesitate when the others got into the car and we chatted a bit with him. He was really nice and asked where we were from and what we were doing in Innsbruck and I actually asked him too where he was from. When we arrived at the street, we obviously had to get out of the car and his girlfriend/partner and his mother (??) got into the car and they had VIP-passes! So I thought, oh, that had to be some VIP. Turns out, my friend recognised him - his name is Andreas Kofler and he's a ski jumper!! He's pretty famous in Austria but it was dark so I didn't recognise him. But I thought it was really nice of him to offer us a ride and chat with us! So thanks to Andreas Kofler!

Does that look like 15.000 viewers?

For those who actually made it till here, thanks for reading all of my randomness, I hope I didn't bore you and you haven't fallen asleep by now!

Is it september yet?

The first wallpaper I made of those two

Ok, I admit it: I'm hooked, addicted, obsessed even with Callica. Admitting it is the first step to recovery, right? Right? My problem right now is that there is no new material out there - except for these horrible, stupid spoilers which I really don't want to read. So, as the crazy fan that I am, I read fanfiction. I have so far refrained from googling for further fanfiction, as I try to deal with my addiction. It's not easy when ALL you can think about is this beautiful, gorgeous, hot Callie Torres kissing Erica Hahn. So, here's the thing what gets me the most: In the beginning, I felt sorry for Callie, because the other girls treated her like sh*t and George hardly ever stood up for her. But then, when George cheated on Callie, she became more interesting to me, because she confronted Izzie and while she was vulnerable and hurt, she also was in power and didn't take sh*t from them. When Erica became a regular character, I immediately started liking her, just because she called Derek and Sloan "Pretty and Prettier" and thought they were a couple. How great was that scene?? And then, she was not at all impressed by Sloan trying to get into her pants. Plus, she even invited herself to the "gentleman's evening" because she thought it was sexist that the chief had not invited her. So, I just already adore these two characters on their own. IRL, I would look up to them and be drawn to their strength. But now, Shonda Rhimes has thrown me this bait and I just can't stop thinking about them. I guess my wallpaper doesn't help either, but still. At least I have not made that much fanart about them, I haven't made any with the season finale pictures yet. So, how do I keep from starting to write own fanfiction about those two? I'm not a good writer and besides, I have tons of stuff to do and exams are coming up, so right now, I don't have time for my addiction. But then again, it's McCaliente and McSassy *sigh*

Current wallpaper

The L Word has spoiled me...

Screencap @ Home Of The Nutty

Last week on Grey's Anatomy's season finale, Callie Torres kissed Erica Hahn after a lot of talk about threesomes. Callie decided to be honest and allow her feelings and we'll see next season how that's going to work out for her. I was hoping that she would not continue to have meaningless sex with McSteamy, even though I liked the idea that she's really just using him and isn't at all interested in him. Usually, on tv, woman are not allowed to act that way (except for Samantha on Sex and the City). Anyways, Callie tries to explain to Erica how she feels, but is so overwhelmed that she can't express it other than by kissing Erica *Yay*.

Screencap @ me!

While the storyline and the pairing really made me dance around happily - for real! - their kisses were a bit disappointing. Here's the thing: on "The L Word", kisses are always so steamy and hot and French (hehe), that the Callica kisses seemed tame and tv-kissy. While I get it that it must be difficult for the actresses to be all "hot and bothered" with all the cameras, I still was disappointed. "The L Word" has spoiled me, especially Leisha Hailey and Rose Rollins, Jennifer Beals and Laurel Holloman.

Case in point #1

Case in point #2 - check out the 4:06 mark!!

I realise that Showtime is a very different to ABC, but still. I can't wait how the Callica relationship is going to turn out, because I really want to see some more action between Callie and Erica. Check out what Brooke Smith has to say about the first kiss! These two actresses are beautiful and hot and they just need a little more training *snicker*.

Update: AfterEllen has posted a mini-recap of the season Finale.

My Weekend Crush

I’m shamelessly stealing this idea from Dorothy Surrenders , whose weekend crush this weekend is: Jane Lynch. Yeah, Jane Lynch is hot and funny and you should definitely check out the We’re getting nowhere episode with her.

In case you don’t watch Grey’s Anatomy and don’t read AfterEllen, go to youtube and check out the “Callie and Erica” videos. Dr. Callie Torres is my favourite Grey’s character. She’s smart, she’s beautiful, she’s hot and she likes to break bones. Sara Ramirez is the actress who plays her. She went to Juillard, started out at Broadway, won a Tony for her role in “Spamelot” and then got offered a role in any ABC primetime show. Since she was a fan of Grey’s, she picked that show and ever since I just love her. She’s a great role model, because she’s not a size 0 and her character is very confident and dances around in underwear and goes to the toilet naked *snicker*. Ah, great moments on my tv!! Of course, it doesn’t hurt that Callie kissed Erica Hahn in the season finale. More about that will come later, check out AfterEllen for more. She also took part in the glaad campaign against discrimination and filmed one spot in Spanish.

There’s not a lot of information on Sara Ramirez private life online, so I have no idea whether she’s in a relationship, straight or lesbian (my fantasy). But one thing I know for sure: she’s gorgeous.

pictures from sara-ramirez.com