Tuesday, October 27, 2009

This is a rant!

So don't read if you're not interested, which I would totally understand. I've tweeted about my living situation and how I recently moved in with my girlfriend and her uncle - into a one-bedroom apartment. As you can imagine, this is not exactly perfect - or should I say it sucks? Yes, rent is cheap, but we live in the living room, which isn't huge and we sleep on an airbed. We have almost no privacy and no space to call our own. We want to move into a condo but can't afford even the cheapest place because my girlfriend can't get a job - stupid economy!! - and her mom is barely supporting her enough to feed her. Her parents basically both don't care what happens in her future or at least they don't show their care because neither of them truly supports her, so I do my best, but I have limited means available as well. My parents pay for my school and living expenses, but with paying for part of my girlfriend's groceries I spend almost all the money they give me for necessities. My girlfriend and I fight about money, because we don't have any, and we fight because we don't have the space the give each other some space.

I know that I should be grateful that I have a place to live and that my parents are providing for me and that I don't go to bed hungry, but this situation is slowly starting to eat me up. I don't know how much longer my gf's uncle will let me stay here and I don't know what will happen once he tells me to move out. I literally don't have anywhere to go. I grew up in a nice house and when I move out I moved into this huge room in an apartment that I shared with two other girls where I had lots of privacy and lots of space. I don't really want to move in with roommates, as my girlfriend will not be able to stay over very often and then we won't be able to see each other on a daily basis, which is what we are used to. Because of all the homework, we barely have time to spend any quality time together, and I really don't want to spend any of the little time we have apart. The only solution that seems like a good idea right now is to move into a two-bedroom apartment with her uncle, as he then would be paying her rent. But as of right now, he can't afford to move and he also doesn't seem really willing to move, as he has lived in this apartment for years and we could possibly move someplace else within 5 years. Then, he might have difficulties paying rent in a bigger apartment and what would he do with a 2-bedroom. I understand why he is reluctant, I totally do, but this is just the only solution I have. This is my plan. I don't have a plan B, all I have this or nothing. My girlfriend and I have discussed this issue multiple times in the past days and there just doesn't seem to be a solution. Unless one of us mysteriously wins the lottery or inherits a large sum of money, we will probably still be living in this apartment a year from now.

The situation sucks, I don't know what to do, and I've never been in a situation like this before in my life. I know that a lot of people go through hard times, but with trying to keep up with my homework, trying to get a 4.0 GPA and having a healthy relationship, I just feel like I don't have the energy to figure out what to do. I've been ignoring this problem since the day I moved in here and the longer I live here the harder it gets to ignore the fact that living like that is, quite frankly, below my standards. I don't mean to sound like a spoiled little child, but I've always had my own bed and my own desk and a dresser and even when I shared a room with my sister - for a whole 13 years - I had more space and more privacy. At least then, I could always go into a different room.


Anonymous said...

I'm sorry that you're going through this right now. Can't say I have any advice for you. And believe me...I've been in the SAME exact situation as you.
My ex and I lived with her mom in her living room and slept on an air mattress. It only changed until we both got on our feet with jobs.

Be patient...if you love each other..it will all be worth it!

Noj said...

I don't know you (I came across this blog by accident) but this post made me want to write something comforting. Or at least try... This really does sound like a tough situation but I'm sure your gf will eventually find a job and then you can rent your own place. I know how it feels to be looking for a job for a long time and not seeing the end of it because it seems hopeless but it never is. Suddenly when you least expect it an opportunity will come by and she will be offered something. Hang in there and good luck! :)