Friday, June 27, 2008

My weekend crush

I’m shamelessly stealing this idea from Dorothy Surrenders, whose weekend crush this special Pride weekend is: Cyndi Lauper. I admire Cyndi for her work for our community and I like her music, even the new song "Into the Nightlife" (I don't usually listen to this "techno/dance" music).

I have to admit that I never really paid much attention to Rachael Ray's show, mainly because it's not on here and I already spend way too much time on youtube. But then I saw this little, cute interview starring my favourite lady Sara Ramirez and it made me heart Rachael Ray a lot. Talk about Straight Gals acting like Gay Gals!


Rachael's parents own several restaurants and her mother was a restaurant manager. Rachael started out working at Macie's where she managed the fresh foods department and, later on, as a buyer for a gourmet market. She started creating "30 minute meals" which she taught at courses. A local tv-station asked her to host a segment each week featuring these 30 minute meals. Eventually, Rachael got a spot on the Today show and a contract with the Food Network. In 2006, her own talk show called "Rachael Ray" started airing. She has written 12 cookbooks so far and has won a round of Iron Chef America. Her first word as a baby was "Vino" which she picked up from her grandfather. How cute is that? Also, Rachael Ray won a Daytime Emmy for her talk show last Friday. I just love her cute smile and she seems very natural on her show.

Picture @ Rachael Ray Show

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Success with a bitter aftertaste


Important things first: I had my French exam today and was lucky with the topic! I think I did okish, I stumbled over the verbs because I just can't conjugate them, but apart from that, it was ok. I'm soooo glad that the exam is finally over, I barely slept the last night because I was so nervous.

The event that I had organised finally took place today and it went well. I was secretly hoping and dreaming that a lot of people would show up, but I'm happy with the ~30 people that came. I know that right now, most students have exams and are busy with the end of term craziness, so during the term more people might have showed up. I had bought enough cakes and cookies and chips and drinks for everybody, so that's already really great. It was so hot today, so when I took the groceries from my office to hall where the event took place I nearly died of a heat stroke. When I took the stuff back after the event, it poured like it was the end of the world, so I got soaked to the skin. Two friends helped me at the event with making coffee etc., which I am really grateful for! I actually had some time to talk to the guests, which was really nice. Most of them said that they wouldn't mind a soccer player coming out as gay, but none of them were fans, so that might affect their indifference. We also talked about girls playing football and one guy explained to me that in the US, soccer is a girls sport and that men hardly play soccer.

Earlier today, I was at the office because I had some preparation to do and my "boss" was there too and she seemed pissed because of something and wasn't really nice towards me. I asked whether it would be possible for me to be authorised to sign next year, so that I would be less dependent on her. She barked at me and told me that only the head of the division was authorised to sign. Two things: 1. I didn't know that only the heads of the divisions were authorised to sign. 2. I'm pretty sure that there could be two heads of the division, which would mean that we would have equal rights. So, I organised this event all on my own, without any of her help, despite the fact that just I started working with her in April, and she doesn't even ask me how it's going or whether I need any help. I know that she told me right from the start that she has to work during the EM, but it wouldn't hurt her to at least be supportive. I'm so pissed right now, because I feel like she's marking her territory like a dog, she's just using her signature instead of pissing all over the place. I'm not trying to take over the office from her, I'm so not interested in that because I don't want to get involved with the politics. So I don't get why she's being so aggressive and unsupportive. *END of rant*

Then there's some friendship rumbles that disturb me. This one particular friendship just isn't flowing the way it's supposed to be and I feel like every second thing I say to this friend pisses her off in some way. And sometimes, she's just so uninterested and indifferent towards me that I wonder whether she even likes me or just tolerates me. I'm not going to say more right now, because there's one friend IRL who reads this blog (hi Flo) and I just don't know how he would react if I wrote more and therefore let him know who I'm talking about (@Flo: would you say something?). So I'll just leave it at that.

My mum's birthday is on Saturday and I still haven't bought a present! I think I'll have to do some last-minute shopping when I go home on Friday. I'm off to bed, I wanted to read some Callica fluff to cheer me up, but there's nothing new online :(. But I can think of something to cheer me up: Comments ;-)

Monday, June 23, 2008

TMI = sugar addiction = headache

I had this really great, amazing post in my head yesterday, complete with a great title, while I was studying French. But, as I tried to concentrate on French (worked out great :-s), I didn't write it down and now I can't remember the title anymore. Sigh. There's just too much in my head right now, which makes me crave sugar like crazy, the sugar I'll then eat makes my skin itchy which makes me go crazy a second time.

There's way too much going on in my life right now. On Wednesday, this event will take place and I'll have a big French exam. We have to learn 15 papers by heart, with all the data about French companies (Air France, Lancome, Renault,...). Then, our teacher will "interview" us about "our" company and we have to talk for 15 minutes. The presentations only were 7 minutes long - how am I supposed to talk for 15 minutes when I had only 7 minutes of input??? WTF?? I don't know... So this exam is already freaking my out, because I just can't learn the sales of 15 companies by heart, let alone learn the number of employees, year of foundation,... I could rant about this forever, but I'll stop right now!

In 10 minutes, my dear friend Ms. L. will pick me up and we'll go buy all the food and drinks for the event. I'm so happy that she'll help me, because I don't have a car and I wouldn't be able to do this all on my own. So great thanks to Ms. L!

Gotta go. Sorry for the short post, just needed to get this of my mind, otherwise I would wonder about the blog title for hours on end when I should really focus on French.

Saturday, June 21, 2008

Congratulations, Ellen!

Ellen DeGeneres (or, as I like to call her: DeGenerous) won a Daytime Emmy for "Outstanding Talk Show Host" on Friday. She really is having the time of her life right now, being engaged and doing a great show! This is the fourth year in a row that Ellen has won the "Outstanding Talk Show Host" Emmy and she truly deserves it! I can't believe I've never written about Ellen before....

Ellen winning the Emmy!

Friday, June 20, 2008

My Weekend Crush


I’m shamelessly stealing this idea from Dorothy Surrenders, whose weekend crush this weekend is: Lauren Bacall. I have to admit that I'm not really familiar with the "Old-Hollywood" stars, but her picture looks pretty amazing.

The TV-summer has begun and with that, The Closer is finally back on my TV-screen! I really love The Closer due to a few reasons: the writing is extremely smart, the acting is good and Kyra Sedgwick. Kyra Sedgwick plays the smart, socially awkward and strong Deputy Chief Brenda Lee Johnson. Brenda came to L.A. to work for her former lover and finds herself in a department where she is clearly not welcome. But her great work and unforgivingness soon make the smart people in the force realise what a great deputy she is. The reason why the show is called "The Closer" is because that's what Brenda does, she closes her cases. Her interrogation techniques are amazing, she always seems to make people just die to tell her why they killed someone. Kyra Sedgwick portrays Brenda with the right amount of strength and vulnerability and her chemistry with some of the other actors is amazing. The interactions between Kyra as Brenda and Jon Tenney as Agent Fritz Howard are believable and show how unsure Brenda is in social situations and yet, Fritz just simply can't NOT love her. That's also something I love about The Closer, Brenda is not perfect and still, her boyfriend accepts and loves her as she is.


Kyra Sedgwick is married to actor and director Kevin Bacon and they have two teenaged kids, Travis and Sosie. The team of "Inside the Actors Studio" was able to trace back Kyra's heritage to 1585 (You should really check out the video, her family history is amazing!). Kyra comes from an old New York family and is related to Edie Sedgwick (second cousin), muse of Andy Warhol. Kyra started acting as a teenager in the play "A fiddler on the roof" at school. The rest is, as they say, history. Both Kyra and Kevin will receive their stars on the Hollywood Walk of Fame this year. Having won one Golden Globe and two nominations for The Closer shows that I'm not the only one who thinks Kyra is an amazing actress!


Kyra has played in lesbian-themed movies twice. The first one was "Losing Chase" which Kevin Bacon directed and Helen Mirren played the main character, Chase. The second one was "What's cooking" in which Kyra and Julianna Margulies play a couple in one of the sequences. I really enjoyed their relationship and their chemistry and just loved the sequence. Kyra does not shy away from difficult roles or movies (Loverboy) and she likes kissing girls!

Pictures @ IMDB and tv.com

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Daydreaming and science

Largest screen in Austria @ Bergisel

First of all, sorry to the three (approximately) people who regularly read my little blog that it has been so long since my last update. I've been busy with organizing my little event, university and daydreaming about Callie and Sara and Brooke.

The event I'm organizing is moving along surprisingly well. Today, I got the permission for the budget and I found another friend who will help me make coffee and with whatever I need help. I've finally also been told that we can actually buy some more coffee makers, even though I technically am not allowed to buy them. But my "boss" will take care of that. I really hope that the invitation e-mail will be sent out tomorrow, I already sent it to the university yesterday evening and they should send those things out right away. The university refuses to give us the e-mail addresses (which they legally would be required to do), so I have to be nice and hope that they will send it out tomorrow, if they haven't done that until noon I'll probably have to call them. So now, next week, I'll have to buy all the food and drinks and then I'm ready.

I had a small written exam today and I had to re-calculate the first exercise about 4 times because I had miscalculations everywhere. I guess an exam at 8 in the morning is not exactly a good idea, but I hope that in the end, I don't have too many mistakes in it. We'll see...

There was something interesting in the paper today: Swedish scientists have found out that men's brains have a typical asymmetry - their right side of the brain is slightly larger than the left side. Women's brains however are symmetrical. BUT: Gay men's brains are symmetrical and lesbians' brains are asymmetrical! The scientists don't know for sure whether this difference already exists when we are born (obviously, you can't ask a baby whether it's straight and there exist no long-term studies yet) or whether this asymmetry develops due to hormones. Interesting! I am pretty certain that I was born gay, because I had a very strong tendency towards the female gender ever since I was little, but that's just me. Honestly, I'm not sure whether I want to know why some people are straight and others are not, because if scientists know they might also find a "cure" and I don't feel like I need to be cured. I like the mystery around this subject, even though the stereotypes bother me (homosexuals were molested as kids, it's a choice, ...).

There is this saying (is it something Austrian/European??): "I live in my own world, but that's ok because they know me there." That saying describes me perfectly, I'm a big old daydreamer. Lately, I've been daydreaming what it would be like to actually meet Sara Ramirez or Brooke Smith (surprise! ya'll didn't think I would be daydreaming about those two, right??). So, amazed by my own inability to stop thinking about them, I wikipediad obsession and decided to proceed to obsessive love. I know that I'm pretty OCD sometimes - eg, the pens in my pencil case all MUST face in one direction, if someone borrows a pen and puts it back facing the wrong direction I HAVE to turn it around. I'm often afraid that I will starve to death (my mum says that's because my dad's parents are from Siebenb├╝rgen/Transilvania, they also had that fear of starving to death), so when we would go away on holiday I'd always have enough food with me. I've been able to stop worrying about food because now I always have enough money with me to buy something to eat and I've learned that I will not starve to death, it'll rather be the opposite - I'll die of having eaten too much fat and sugar. Anyways, my point is that even my friends in school would sometimes call me Monk for being OCD about something. Obviously, I'm not seriously mentally ill, I'm just odd. Anyways, wikipedia says about obsessive love that can come from leisure, feelings of vulnerability (check!), a perceived failure to belong (check!), feelings of being special and/or different (check!), feelings of distance from peers (check!) and particular childhood experiences (semi-check). 4 1/2 out of 6? Not bad. I'm past the stalking (you know - been there, done that) and I'm definitely not THAT obsessed - I wouldn't try to kill someone to get someone else's attention (John Hinckley). BUT, I wonder whether my obsessions have anything to do with the fact that I've never dated someone or the fact that I feel really queasy when I'm in a group with more than, say 3-5 people. On the other hand, which of these things is the cause and which the effect? Hm, right now I feel like this blog is really self-cleansing.

OCD @ Nelfy ;-)

On a lighter note: I went to watch the soccer game Austria vs Germany at the Bergisel stadium. The Bergisel ramp is used for ski jumping and there was a demo jumping which we unfortunately missed because it took us forever to get through security. But it was a great experience, the stadium holds over 15.000 viewers and I think that there might have actually been that many people! Austria lost, but I was counting on that already, even though they were playing good. When we made our way down to the city through the forest path, some cars were driving next to use, slowly because of all the people. A friend of mine said out loud whether one of the cars would take us down and then one driver actually asked us whether we wanted to drive down with him! We were a group of four girls, so I didn't hesitate when the others got into the car and we chatted a bit with him. He was really nice and asked where we were from and what we were doing in Innsbruck and I actually asked him too where he was from. When we arrived at the street, we obviously had to get out of the car and his girlfriend/partner and his mother (??) got into the car and they had VIP-passes! So I thought, oh, that had to be some VIP. Turns out, my friend recognised him - his name is Andreas Kofler and he's a ski jumper!! He's pretty famous in Austria but it was dark so I didn't recognise him. But I thought it was really nice of him to offer us a ride and chat with us! So thanks to Andreas Kofler!

Does that look like 15.000 viewers?

For those who actually made it till here, thanks for reading all of my randomness, I hope I didn't bore you and you haven't fallen asleep by now!

Sunday, June 15, 2008

Fighting homophobia my way - Change in plan

I wrote about the event that I'm organizing right now, if you haven't read that you might want to before you read this blog entry.

I just talked to one of my best friends in my hometown about the event that I was planning and about my fear that nobody will show up and she had some thoughts, which I will implement to not make a complete fool out of myself when nobody shows up. She said that I might want to combine the topic homosexuality with a current topic and then she had the idea to combine it with soccer, because soccer is on everybody's mind right now. So, I decided that I will propose two topics for discussions at the event:


  • The question why men playing soccer get all the attention and women playing soccer get none - this works well with the fact that our "office" is mainly handling feminist topics.
  • Homophobia and soccer - whether there don't exist gay soccer players or whether these are just not out.
I really hope that these topics will attract students to come to the event and also actually talk about the topics. I so badly want to change something about the situation of LGBT-people here, but if I push it too much I will not be able to change anything, will I?

I'm very uncertain and self-conscious right now and that's not a good place to be. Any thoughts, ideas, suggestions?

Saturday, June 14, 2008

Swedish fans and dealing with obsessions

Today, Sweden played against Spain and unfortunately for them, they lost 1:2. The Swedish fans had organized a "Swedish March" from the city center to the stadium and there were so many fans it was unbelievable. They marched right by my apartment and I took some great pictures from my window. I had the Swedish and the Spanish flags painted on my cheeks by a very nice lady at a shopping center nearby - I didn't want to decide on a team and as a "host", I thought that was the nice way of showing my support.


I'm starting to overcome my Sara/Callie obsession. It will probably still take some time, and I have actually started writing a fanfiction, but I haven't written more than 3 chapters yet and I'll probably not publish it, because I won't be able to finish it. That's always my problem with stories, I can't seem to finish them properly. I've only written two so far, these were not fanfics but just my imagination, but I always envision a certain point and when I'm there I can't write more. Guess I'll never have a career in writing, but that's ok. I am actually interested in writing about economic topics for a newspaper, but I might do that one day when I'm an expert on this topic. Will probably take me another 30 years, who knows....

The French paper I've been working on is finally starting to come to an end. *YAY* I'm really happy about that! We'll have our presentation on the 3rd of July, every team member has to talk for 10 minutes!! In French!!! I'm already horrified, but I will somehow survive and learn something from the experience. (That's me trying not to freak out). Apart from that, not much is going on right now, I'll have an exam in cost accounting next week, but that shouldn't be a problem. My mum's birthday is on the 28th and I am totally clueless to what I should buy for her. There's not a lot that she wants that you can buy with money, so I'll probably just buy some really good, exquisite chocolate and maybe a book if I can find one that she hasn't read yet.

On AfterEllen, the third episode of Cherry Bomb is online and I actually really liked this episode. They talk about coming out and being out, topics that I think about a lot too. Go watch it if you haven't seen it yet!

Thanks to those of you who have commented, that means the world to me!!

Friday, June 13, 2008

My Weekend Crush


I’m shamelessly stealing this idea from Dorothy Surrenders, whose weekend crush this weekend is: Cat Cora, who definitely looks cute and she plays for our team!

This week, I watched the Heroes' episode "Chapter Nine: Cautionary Tales" with Kristen Bell as the cold, seemingly heartless killer and she nailed it! I love her in this role, because she gets to play this sexy antihero and she does a great job. Kristen became famous starring in Veronica Mars as a high school student who solves mysteries as a private detective in her free time. I always really liked Veronica Mars because the character was a strong young woman who was not necessarily popular. Unfortunately, Veronica Mars aired on a TV channel which we only had for some time, so I haven't seen all episodes. In 2006, Kristen won the Saturn award for best actress for Veronica Mars.


Kristen Bell is a vegetarian and even though she always plays very young, she's actually nearly 28 years old. She can also sing, she performed "Fame" at the Emmy Awards in 2005 and sang "One way or another" in an episode of Veronica Mars. Most recently, Kristen has starred in "Forgetting Sarah Marshall", a movie I'll probably not watch. Kristen will return to our TV-screens in the new season of Heroes as Elle Bishop and I'm really looking forward to watching the episodes with her because she is really good in that role. Plus, I think she has one of the cutest smiles on TV right now (even though she's technically not on TV right now).

Pictures @ K-BELL.org

Thursday, June 12, 2008

We actually did it!!

And by "we", I mean the Austrian soccer team, or, to precise, Ivica Vastic. Tonight, Austria played against Poland. The Austrian Team started off pretty strong, with a few good shots at the goal, but they didn't score. After 30 minutes, Roger Guerreiro took the first chance he got and scored for his team. However, he clearly was in an offside position, which the referee did not see. Then, the Austrians lost their drive and nothing really interesting happened for a while. At least that was my impression, but I don't know a thing about soccer so I could be wrong. In the additional time, a Polish player fouled an Austrian player and as a result, Iciva Vastic scored the penalty kick in the 93rd minute. I watched the game on one of the largest places in Innsbruck and the crowd just went crazy when he scored! Everybody screamed and jumped up and down as if we had actually won the game. But, I had decided to go with the flow - something I normally don't do - so I just enjoyed the vibe. And, as I am in a good mood right now, I'll post a humiliating picture of myself with the Austrian flag painted on my cheeks:

[Edit: Sorry, but no pictures anymore.]

That's what a proud Austrian looks like, who normally is not much of a proud Austrian. (It's not that I don't like Austria, but I know its flaws and I don't really define myself through the country I was born in.)

Fighting homophobia my way

I work for the student representation organization at my university in the "office" for women and discrimination. I'm not sure how to explain that or if you all know those organizations, wikipedia calls it a students' union. Anyways, what we do is represent students who feel discriminated against and we organize events. We already had one of those events, called "Ladies Brunch", this term and while we anticipated about 150 guests, 244 students showed up! I was really surprised at how well it went and so, I'm right now planning the next event. The problem is that my "boss" has to work during the time of the UEFA Euro 2008 and therefore, I'm all on my own organizing and preparing the next event.

What I have planned right now is an evening event, with drinks (coffee, juices,...) and snacks (chips, cakes, cookies), nothing formal. I want to put this event under the theme of homosexuality to sort of get the students talking about this topic. I study in Innsbruck, which lies in Tyrol, or as I call it, the "Holy Country of Tyrol". The thing is, in Tyrol, the Catholic Church is still really important and traditions are even more important. A lot of people around here are still very close-minded and don't accept homosexuality which saddens me. So I thought I'll try and challenge at least the students to talk about it and see how it goes. I'm really worried that nobody will show up. I'm doing this all on my own and I feel like this is my small contribution to battling homophobia, but I don't want to fail miserably. I will invite all the students studying at my university via an e-mail and therefore, I can already contact a lot of people. This e-mail invitation worked really well for our "Ladies Brunch". But you never know whether they will be intrigued by the theme or whether this will keep them from even giving this event a chance. In my hometown, there is a similar event taking place at the university twice a month and about 10 to 20 people take place every time. But they don't invite all the students via e-mail but just have a homepage and people who are actively searching for an LGBT-event can easily find it.

I have already asked one friend of mine to help me set up everything in the evening, she said that she would help but she has an exam until 6 pm and the event will start at 6.30. Tomorrow, I'll call another friend to see whether she can help and then we'll see how I will do. I just really hope that at least some people show up and that I don't make a complete fool out of myself.

On a side note: I think I might be heterophobic. WARNING: If you love Callica as much as I do, I recommend not watching the video! I saw this video, which somehow totally crushed my fantasies and dreams. I know that that's bad, but I somehow felt better when I didn't know for sure what was going on. I'll get over it, but right now I'm a little sad... That's like the time when I had this huge crush on this teacher of mine and for the first year I thought that she was single (she is divorced), but then I found out that she had a boyfriend and I cried myself to sleep each night for a week. That's pathetic, I'm aware of that, but I can't help it.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

UEFA Euro 2008

Today, the first game of the UEFA Euro 2008 in Innsbruck will take place. I'm not a big soccer fan and normally don't watch it on TV, but when such a big event like this takes place right in front of your door, there's no way to avoid it. So, I gave in to this whole circus and I have already watched two games in "Public Viewing Areas". Public Viewing seems like an English word to Germanspeakers, but its not. Basically, public viewing means that huge screens are put up at certain places around town and fans can watch the game there. The first game I saw was Austria vs Croatia and to be honest, I only saw the last 15 minutes. But that was fun, because the fans were really into it and "our" team nearly shot a goal a few times, so to watch the reactions of the fans was great. The second game I saw was Germany vs Poland, but I only saw the first part and the first goal. In Innsbruck, there are a lot of Germans who study here and so the crowd was in a great mood as well. And today, the first game (Spain vs Russia) here will take place and I have to admit I'm a bit anxious because I live right in between the soccer stadium and the city centre and main train station. So all the fans who will follow the game in the statium will walk past my appartment on their way home. I just hope that everything goes smoothly, the police is alert and there are so many policemen and policewomen that there shouldn't be a problem. Side note: I've seen some really cute policewomen - women in uniforms provide a certain attraction to me ;-). So, wish me luck!

Update 1: It started raining about 15 minutes before the game started, so no public viewing for me! Just as I left the university, the storm started, with thunder and lightning, and I didn't have an umbrella or even a jacket with me :( I don't think I ever rode home faster with my bike.

Update 2: Everything went smoothly, Spain won 4:1, but the Russian fans behaved and the fans were surprisingly quiet. I didn't even really notice them walking past my appartment! I just saw them, that's all. Hm, I like it that way :)

Saturday, June 7, 2008

Is it september yet?

The first wallpaper I made of those two

Ok, I admit it: I'm hooked, addicted, obsessed even with Callica. Admitting it is the first step to recovery, right? Right? My problem right now is that there is no new material out there - except for these horrible, stupid spoilers which I really don't want to read. So, as the crazy fan that I am, I read fanfiction. I have so far refrained from googling for further fanfiction, as I try to deal with my addiction. It's not easy when ALL you can think about is this beautiful, gorgeous, hot Callie Torres kissing Erica Hahn. So, here's the thing what gets me the most: In the beginning, I felt sorry for Callie, because the other girls treated her like sh*t and George hardly ever stood up for her. But then, when George cheated on Callie, she became more interesting to me, because she confronted Izzie and while she was vulnerable and hurt, she also was in power and didn't take sh*t from them. When Erica became a regular character, I immediately started liking her, just because she called Derek and Sloan "Pretty and Prettier" and thought they were a couple. How great was that scene?? And then, she was not at all impressed by Sloan trying to get into her pants. Plus, she even invited herself to the "gentleman's evening" because she thought it was sexist that the chief had not invited her. So, I just already adore these two characters on their own. IRL, I would look up to them and be drawn to their strength. But now, Shonda Rhimes has thrown me this bait and I just can't stop thinking about them. I guess my wallpaper doesn't help either, but still. At least I have not made that much fanart about them, I haven't made any with the season finale pictures yet. So, how do I keep from starting to write own fanfiction about those two? I'm not a good writer and besides, I have tons of stuff to do and exams are coming up, so right now, I don't have time for my addiction. But then again, it's McCaliente and McSassy *sigh*

Current wallpaper

Thursday, June 5, 2008

My Weekend Crush


I’m shamelessly stealing this idea from
Dorothy Surrenders, whose weekend crush this weekend is: Cynthia Nixon. Oh, hot! I really liked Cynthia Nixon in "Sex and the City" and damn, she looked good at the London premiere.


I first fell in love with Charlize Theron when I saw "Mighty Joe Young" when I was about 12 or 13. Then, I fell in love with her all over again when I saw "The Italian Job" at age 16. At that age, I enjoyed moderately good movies and didn't expect more than fun and a nice story. Then came "Monster", in which Charlize Theron played Aileen Wuornos, one of America's first female serial killers. This movie really changed my mind and made me realize that a movie can be some much more than just two hours of fun. A movie can make you question yourself, general rules of society and why people are who they are and what makes people do bad things. After seeing Monster, I couldn't stop thinking about Aileen and whether she was, in fact, a monster, or whether she was "just" reacting to the way society and people treated her. Charlize won an Oscar for this role, which she definitely deserved, because I went into this movie wondering whether she could pull off such a transformation - I already had a huge crush on her - and after the front credits rolled, I did not think of Charlize Theron for one second. The person I saw on the screen was Aileen, and still to this day, when I see a picture of Aileen Wuornos, I am reminded that she was the real person, and not the person I know from Monster.



Charlize Theron's life has not always been easy either. She grew up on a farm in Benoni, South Africa. When she was 15 years old, her mother shot and killed her father in self defense, after he tried to hurt them in a drunken rage. Charlize wanted to be a ballet dancer and she travelled to Europe and America to fulfil her dream. However, a knee injury put an end to her career as a dancer and her mother convinced her to move to Los Angeles and become an actress. Charlize was discovered in a bank whilst shouting at a clerk who refused to cash her check.

Charlize with her mother

She started to become noticed after playing opposite of Keanu Reeves and Al Pacino in "The Devil's Advocate", in which she was amazing. Then came "The Astronaut's Wife", "The Cider House Rules", "Men of Honor", "Sweet November", "The Italian Job" and "Monster" (and obviously some more movies in between those). I like Charlize best in dramatic roles in which she can play out her full potential. She is an amazing actress and she does not use her looks in movies. She has said in interviews that she didn't want to take roles as someone's pretty blond girlfriend because these roles did not challenge nor interest her.

How cute is this picture?

Unfortunately, I haven't seen all of her movies, but after "Monster", she next amazed me in "North Country". Numerous reporters have said that Charlize "goes ugly" for her roles, but I have to strongly disagree on that. I didn't find Charlize ugly in North Country, she still had her amazingly beautiful face, but she did not wear makeup or high heels or dresses because her character worked in a mine. To me, not dressing up does not equate to ugly. Most recently, I saw Charlize Theron in "In the Valley of Elah", in which she plays a detective and single mother who tries to find out what happened to a soldier. She was great in that movie as well, because this woman just can act. So far, she has won one best actress Oscar, was nominated for one best actress Oscar for "North Country", won one Golden Globe for Monster and has two nominations for "The Life and Death of Peter Sellers" and "North Country", won one SAG Award for "Monster" and was the woman of the year in 2008 at the Hasty Pudding Theatricals at Harvard. She has too many nominations and wins to mention them all here, so check out her IMDB site if you're interested.

Charlize and Stuart Townsend

Charlize Theron was at No. 54 on the AfterEllen Hot 100 list. While I don't find her hot, I do think she is so amazingly beautiful, she has a face like an angel. She also has a big heart, she often has said in interviews that she does not want to get married to Stuart Townsend, her boyfriend of nearly 7 years, until gays and lesbians can legally get married in America as well. Charlize is an active member of PETA, is involved in women's rights campaigns in her native South Africa and in 2006, she received the GLAAD Vanguard Award for increasing visibility and understanding. To sum it up, Charlize Theron is an amazing actress and person.

Pictures from Charlize Theron Web

In the Valley of Elah

I'm back from watching "In the Valley of Elah" and I think it's a good movie. I wonder how much you can say that you like a movie that has such a sad subject, but the acting was great, they captured the vibe and atmosphere (for the lack of a better word, a word I just can't think of right now) perfectly and I liked the pace of the movie. It was very slow, at times a bit too slow, but the pace just really fit the subject. Basically, the movie is about a soldier who returns from Iraq and then disappears. His father, played by Tommy Lee Jones, tries to find him, but then his body is found. Charlize Theron plays a cop who tries to find out what happened to him and who killed him. Susan Sarandon plays the soldier's mother and I thought she was really great, even though her role was just a minor part, but I haven't seen Susan Sarandon in a role like that before. The movie is really rather sad, it mainly shows the effect the war has on the young soldiers and how it changes them. "In the Valley of Elah" is based on a true story.

Update: I completely forgot about that - When I bought my ticket, the girl - who, btw, was really cute!! - at the box office asked for my id. Apparently, the movie is rated NC-18 (does that exist?) which I can't quite comprehend, because the body parts you see are not any worse than on CSI. I went alone and at first was afraid that I shouldn't have gone alone, but it really wasn't bad at all.

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Lei oins

In Tirol, where I study at the moment, people like using the expression "Lei oins" for things that are the same or for actions that result in the same outcome. I'm not really sure from which German words you could derive this expression, but I really like saying it - a lot! The reason I bring this up is because I went to this party last friday, called Sonnendeck. The local LGBT-organization organizes this party twice a year, it takes place at a youth club, they set up tables and benches outside and usually barbecue and inside the club, a djane plays great music. On friday, over 200 people attended the party!

Before we went there, I met with some friends at a friends place (Ms. M) to chat and catch up on our lives, because we hadn't seen each other in a while. That was actually the best part of the whole evening, it was really cozy and just nice to see each other again. then, at around 10 in the evening, we finally went to the party. I was a little bit overwhelmed at first, because there were so many people and I didn't really know anyone except for two or three members of the organization (and, obviously, the friends I went there with). What bothered me was that everybody looked so the same, out of the 100 girls, only about 5 didn't have short hair and some form of a faux-hawk. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind people who have short hair and faux-hawks, they look really cute most of the time, but what bothers me is that everybody looked the same! Totally lei oins! I wore a dress and I had actually put an effort into looking the way I did but the fact that I was the only one wearing a dress made me feel totally uncomfortable. The only other people wearing a skirt were the male band members from the Irish band who wore kilts. I stood out and felt selfconsious, when I should not feel that way at a lgbt-party. Some of the girls gave me looks like "What is the straight girl doing here?". The thing is, unless the individual changes her appearance, there will be no diversity in the group. It's like a vicious circle where you automatically feel pressure to adapt to the group, even when at first you might have felt better the way you were.

What also kinda ruined my mood was that there were so many couples at the party and so many groups of friends that it was really difficult to get to know someone new. I had a converstation with the sister of a friend of mine who told me how happy she was with her girlfriend and that they would get married immediatly if they could and how she had been in previous relationships where she had not taken the relationship seriously. She's about 5 years older than me and had already had 8 girlfriends, with various lenghts of the relationships. How come some people go from one relationship to another and I don't even date? Sometimes, being single really sucks a lot. Fortunatly, I have great friends (especially Ms. A and Ms. M), who cheered me up without forcing me to talk about it, which I really appreciated. Anyways, my point is that having nearly no diversity in the lgbt-community sucks!

Now, after this long rant, I'm off to see "In the valley of Elah" which the beautiful Charlize Theron.

It's over, isn't it?

Image @ PoliGazette

According to Sen. Barack Obama and various media outlets, Sen. Barack Obama is the official democratic nominee. Sen. Hillary Clinton has not admitted defeat, but I guess that's just a matter of time. It's been five months since the primaries started and in another five months, Americans will vote a new president - either Sen. John McCain or Sen. Barack Obama. While I would have preferred Sen. Clinton to get the nomination, I would now support Sen. Obama if I could.


This is the first American presidential election that I've followed and been interested in - mainly because of my age. What I've learned so far:
  • America is not the biggest democracy anymore - India is
  • You have to be rich, have rich friends and be accepted by the media to only even get a chance to become the president - not exactly very democratic, is it?
  • The media plays such an important role, I wonder whether that's different in Europe or whether I just don't notice it
  • A two-party system would not satisfy me, even though our political landscape is in no way satisfying
  • I'm not educated enough to really grasp the whole concept - who stands for what, who wants to do what, how does that affect the economy,...
Anyways, just wanted to mention some of these things, I can't wait what will happen in the next 5 months, in such a long period of time, everything can change and yet everything can stay the same as well. So I guess we'll have to wait and see.


I'm currently spending way too much time doing homework, writing papers... for my French class. I spend more time working for French than for the 3 other classes combined - there's a failure in this system, right? I can't wait to get this term over with, then I'll be officially done with my languages and if I don't like Spanish, I'll just stop taking it. That's how easy it can be. Unless, of course, I mess up the French paper, then I can do it all again - which I really do not want to! Apart from university, not much is going on right now, as usual. I try to work out regularly, spend way too much time online, but I've cut down my TV consumption - I only watch 4 shows a week (The Closer, CSI Miami, House, CSI Las Vegas), 2 are reruns, so I don't mind if I don't catch them. How did that happen? Anywho, I'll write about the party I went to on friday (Sonnendeck) later, better get going or else I won't be finished till midnight.

Monday, June 2, 2008

Sex and the City

I just came back from watching "Sex and the City" and I have to say I really enjoyed the movie! While it definitely wasn't the smartest or best movie I've ever seen, I still laughed out loud a couple of times and really got into it. Here's what Dorothy Snarker has to say about the movie, which pretty much reflects my opinion.

What I liked best:
  • The friendship and the natural feel between the four ladies
  • Miranda's storyline and her struggle to forgive her husband
  • The reconciliation sex between Miranda and Steve
  • Charlotte telling Mr. Big "I curse the day you were born"
  • The great acting by Cyntia Nixon
What I didn't like:
  • Jennifer Hudson's character - it was unnecesary and took away attention from the four friends
  • How, minutes after seeing Cynthia Nixon / Miranda on that huge screen "wearing" her co-stars / husbands hands, we got to see Samantha's neighbourg showering naked - I just had to look away, I really did not need to see that!
What the movie showed me:

  • I didn't realise before how much I miss having friends like these. I loved it when the three friends were like mirrors Samantha couldn't look away from and made her realise what she could not see on her own.
  • Being gay is such an integral part of who I am now, that sometimes, I have a really hard time getting invested in straight relationships.

Now that I've gushed long enough about Cynthia Nixon, may I just show you this little picture of her at one of the Sex and the City premieres in London:



picture @ news.bbc.co.uk

Who said that lesbians aren't beautiful and don't have any fashion sense?

AfterEllen hot 100, part 2



The 2008 AfterEllen Hot 100 list is online! They posted it really early in the day, I was surprise to already find it online. For this special occasion, I took my laptop to university to be able to check it out right away first thing in the morning. But, lets get to business: The top ten of this year's list are:


  1. Tina Fey
  2. Jennifer Beals
  3. Jill Bennet
  4. Bridget McManus
  5. Leisha Hailey
  6. Ellen Page
  7. Sarah Shahi
  8. Sara Ramirez
  9. Kate Moenning
  10. Lena Headey

I have to say I agree with the general taste of my fellow AE users and lesbians. I don't have Tina Fey on my list, but I understand why someone would vote for her. She's so funny and great and has definitly achieved a lot already.

Out of my ten nominees, 9 actually made the list - YAY! Here are my nominees and their number on the list:
  • Jennifer Beals - No. 2
  • Jill Bennet - No. 3 (Thats so amazing as well!!)
  • Bridget McManus - No. 4
  • Leisha Hailey - No. 5
  • Sara Ramirez - No. 8 (I can't believe it, thats so awesome)
  • Angelina Jolie - No. 11
  • Kate Winslet - No. 15
  • Salma Hayek - No. 44
  • Pink - No. 79
  • Marlee Matlin - the only one not on the list

Thanks to the great AfterEllen staff for doing such a great job to represent us and at the same time let us have a say and give us a platform to express our feelings (and crushes/obsessions)! Keep on rocking my world! That so many vloggers are on the list just proves the power of AfterEllen!!

Sunday, June 1, 2008

After Ellen Hot 100, part 1

Last year, the geniuses over at AfterEllen had the great idea to come up with a lesbian version of the Hot 100 lists that were published by numerous magazins, after Maxim magazin named Lindsay Lohan the Hottest Woman of 2007. They asked all users to come up with their own lists of hot women and then added up this lists to one list. The top ten of AfterEllen's Hot 100 list in 2007 were:
  1. Leisha Hailey
  2. Angelina Jolie
  3. Kate Winslet
  4. Lena Headey
  5. Sarah Shahi
  6. Jennifer Beals
  7. Tina Fey
  8. Jordana Brewster
  9. Salma Hayek
  10. Natalie Portman
I really can't remember anymore who I voted for last year, but I was very happy with the generaly taste of lesbians. The list and therefore AE got some media attention, so Sarah Warn decided to make it annual. I couldn't wait for the voting for this year's list to start, even though the process was slightly different this year, as each user was only allowed to nominate 10 women.

Here are my nominations (in alphabetical order):
  • Angelina Jolie
  • Bridget McManus
  • Jennifer Beals
  • Jill Bennet
  • Kate Winslet
  • Leisha Hailey
  • Marlee Matlin
  • Pink
  • Sara Ramirez
  • Salma Hayec

These women almost made it on my list: Rose Rollins, Elizabeth Mitchell, Maria Bello, Clea DuVall, Sherry Stringfield, Sela Ward, Lauren Graham and Jorja Fox. To make things even more exciting, AE already named a few of "chosen ones" in the last few weeks. These women are:

Tomorrow, we'll find out who is the hottest women in 2008 according to those who must know it best - us lesbians ;-)! As a foretaste, here's a graphic with all the women on last year's list: