Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Daydreaming and science

Largest screen in Austria @ Bergisel

First of all, sorry to the three (approximately) people who regularly read my little blog that it has been so long since my last update. I've been busy with organizing my little event, university and daydreaming about Callie and Sara and Brooke.

The event I'm organizing is moving along surprisingly well. Today, I got the permission for the budget and I found another friend who will help me make coffee and with whatever I need help. I've finally also been told that we can actually buy some more coffee makers, even though I technically am not allowed to buy them. But my "boss" will take care of that. I really hope that the invitation e-mail will be sent out tomorrow, I already sent it to the university yesterday evening and they should send those things out right away. The university refuses to give us the e-mail addresses (which they legally would be required to do), so I have to be nice and hope that they will send it out tomorrow, if they haven't done that until noon I'll probably have to call them. So now, next week, I'll have to buy all the food and drinks and then I'm ready.

I had a small written exam today and I had to re-calculate the first exercise about 4 times because I had miscalculations everywhere. I guess an exam at 8 in the morning is not exactly a good idea, but I hope that in the end, I don't have too many mistakes in it. We'll see...

There was something interesting in the paper today: Swedish scientists have found out that men's brains have a typical asymmetry - their right side of the brain is slightly larger than the left side. Women's brains however are symmetrical. BUT: Gay men's brains are symmetrical and lesbians' brains are asymmetrical! The scientists don't know for sure whether this difference already exists when we are born (obviously, you can't ask a baby whether it's straight and there exist no long-term studies yet) or whether this asymmetry develops due to hormones. Interesting! I am pretty certain that I was born gay, because I had a very strong tendency towards the female gender ever since I was little, but that's just me. Honestly, I'm not sure whether I want to know why some people are straight and others are not, because if scientists know they might also find a "cure" and I don't feel like I need to be cured. I like the mystery around this subject, even though the stereotypes bother me (homosexuals were molested as kids, it's a choice, ...).

There is this saying (is it something Austrian/European??): "I live in my own world, but that's ok because they know me there." That saying describes me perfectly, I'm a big old daydreamer. Lately, I've been daydreaming what it would be like to actually meet Sara Ramirez or Brooke Smith (surprise! ya'll didn't think I would be daydreaming about those two, right??). So, amazed by my own inability to stop thinking about them, I wikipediad obsession and decided to proceed to obsessive love. I know that I'm pretty OCD sometimes - eg, the pens in my pencil case all MUST face in one direction, if someone borrows a pen and puts it back facing the wrong direction I HAVE to turn it around. I'm often afraid that I will starve to death (my mum says that's because my dad's parents are from Siebenb├╝rgen/Transilvania, they also had that fear of starving to death), so when we would go away on holiday I'd always have enough food with me. I've been able to stop worrying about food because now I always have enough money with me to buy something to eat and I've learned that I will not starve to death, it'll rather be the opposite - I'll die of having eaten too much fat and sugar. Anyways, my point is that even my friends in school would sometimes call me Monk for being OCD about something. Obviously, I'm not seriously mentally ill, I'm just odd. Anyways, wikipedia says about obsessive love that can come from leisure, feelings of vulnerability (check!), a perceived failure to belong (check!), feelings of being special and/or different (check!), feelings of distance from peers (check!) and particular childhood experiences (semi-check). 4 1/2 out of 6? Not bad. I'm past the stalking (you know - been there, done that) and I'm definitely not THAT obsessed - I wouldn't try to kill someone to get someone else's attention (John Hinckley). BUT, I wonder whether my obsessions have anything to do with the fact that I've never dated someone or the fact that I feel really queasy when I'm in a group with more than, say 3-5 people. On the other hand, which of these things is the cause and which the effect? Hm, right now I feel like this blog is really self-cleansing.

OCD @ Nelfy ;-)

On a lighter note: I went to watch the soccer game Austria vs Germany at the Bergisel stadium. The Bergisel ramp is used for ski jumping and there was a demo jumping which we unfortunately missed because it took us forever to get through security. But it was a great experience, the stadium holds over 15.000 viewers and I think that there might have actually been that many people! Austria lost, but I was counting on that already, even though they were playing good. When we made our way down to the city through the forest path, some cars were driving next to use, slowly because of all the people. A friend of mine said out loud whether one of the cars would take us down and then one driver actually asked us whether we wanted to drive down with him! We were a group of four girls, so I didn't hesitate when the others got into the car and we chatted a bit with him. He was really nice and asked where we were from and what we were doing in Innsbruck and I actually asked him too where he was from. When we arrived at the street, we obviously had to get out of the car and his girlfriend/partner and his mother (??) got into the car and they had VIP-passes! So I thought, oh, that had to be some VIP. Turns out, my friend recognised him - his name is Andreas Kofler and he's a ski jumper!! He's pretty famous in Austria but it was dark so I didn't recognise him. But I thought it was really nice of him to offer us a ride and chat with us! So thanks to Andreas Kofler!

Does that look like 15.000 viewers?

For those who actually made it till here, thanks for reading all of my randomness, I hope I didn't bore you and you haven't fallen asleep by now!

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