- My visa was approved and I already got my passport back.
- I've started getting ready to pack, sorting through all of my stuff and deciding on what to take and what to leave here.
- Today, we had a family party with all of my family here and I said goodbye to my aunt, uncle and cousins.
- Tomorrow, I'm having my farewell party with my friends, we'll play games in the afternoon and go out for dinner, maybe for drinks afterwards.
- I'm starting to get really excited, even though I don't even really have time to be excited because there is still so much to do.
Friday, July 24, 2009
Thursday, July 16, 2009
I'm also very excited about Kyra Sedgwick and Toni Colette being nominated as 'Outstanding Lead Actress in a Drama/Comedy Series'. I am keeping my fingers crossed for Toni Colette because she showed so many facets of her great talent in 'United States of Tara'. I can't believe I haven't posted about my love for USoT and Toni in it before.
The other nominations that made me smile and go *YAY* are: Tony Shalhoub for Monk (I can identify with him so much), Hugh Laurie for House, Cherry Jones for 24 (I haven't seen her in it, but DYKE!! That just makes me happy, a lesbian playing the first female president.), 'Real Time with Bill Maher' in the new category 'Outstanding Variety, Music Or Comedy Series' along with 'The Daily Show' and 'The Colbert Report', 'Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List' and 'Kathy Griffin: She'll Cut a Bitch' (Love her comedy specials, she sometimes goes a little far on her show, but she's funny anyways).
So that's my Emmy excitement for now. Let's hope for pretty dresses and for at least one of the Grey's Girls to win the award this year - since both have been nominated before (Oh 4 times, Wilson 3 times).
Right now, I've mostly cleaned up my room and put everything away. There is a little mess in my room simply because I don't have enough storage to put absolutely everything away, but apart from that it's looking pretty good. I will start going through all of my drawers and cupboards to decide what to keep and what to throw out/sell, since I will not be able to take that much stuff with me. I made my 'packing-list' today and most of my suitcases will be filled with clothes and shoes and such. At least I get to take two suitcases with a total of 100 lbs with me. Those plus my two carry-on items will be A LOT to take care of, since I don't even weigh that much more than all of my luggage will. But I only have to get all of my luggage through customs in Chicago, where I will have to change planes. Oh my...
The idea that I'm not going to be home for 10 months and not see my family and friends still is a bit foreign to me. I can't wrap my mind around how I will feel, but I think that in situations like this it's always hard to know beforehand how everything will turn out. I know that this is the right decision and that I really want this and I will do everything I can to make it work. My therapist was certain that I was prepared as well as you can be for this huge change and that just makes me more certain.
I can't wait what will come my way, even if I can't really imagine it quite yet.
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
As long as I am here, I still have a lot of time. There are numerous things I cannot organize yet and I can't do any of the packing yet either. My room here is already almost empty, all I basically have to do is put everything into my parent's car. It has been weird, today I went to dinner with one of my best friends and it was the last time that we really actually had time to talk. She might help me move a bit, but we will probably not see each other for a year after that. I really want to stay in touch with certain people from my life here, but I don't know what to expect as soon as I'm in California so it's hard to predict what will happen. I've been looking for a room in California, but so far nothing great has come up. It is really hard to find a room when I am here and the room is there.
As soon as I'm home, I will start going through all of my stuff, mostly my clothes and figure out what I'm throwing out, what I'm taking with me and what'll stay. I will be gone for about 10 months and I don't want to keep too much stuff if I'm not going to ever use it again. It will be hard to let go of certain things but I will try to not be too emotional, since the things will be in Austria and therefore out of my reach anyways. I will mostly keep winter clothing, since I don't need that in California - obviously - but I do plan on coming home for Christmas at least once in the next three years.
Normally, my life is very organized. I like making plans and lists and I am really bad at being spontaneous. Really, really bad. Right now, I cannot even plan ahead one month. I can think of all the things that I want, but I have no clue what they will exactly look like or even if I will have these things. I thought that when I got the acceptance email to college I'd be able to sleep better again, but so far I haven't been able to fall asleep at night at all because I have a million things going through my head. I really don't know what to expect and everything will change for me - way more than it did when I moved out.
I am certain that this was the right decision and I can't wait to start college and live my dream. But nonetheless, I'm a little anxious of how everything will work out in the next month. I expect problems and glitches, because you always have to expect those, but I just don't know what they will look like. I'm leaving my security net, that I've been living with for 21 years, behind. It is exciting, but also nerve-wracking. I guess we'll have to wait and see how everything turns out. I'm just not good at the patience-thing.
Friday, July 10, 2009
I will hug her
I will kiss her
I will hold her
In 20 days,
I will study her face while she talks to me
I will fall asleep in her warm embrace
I will see her face light up as she laughs
In 20 days
She will hug me
She will kiss me
She will hold me
In 20 days
I will hold her hand again
I will look in her eyes again
I will feel her presence again
In just 20 days
My life will be complete again
So there are basically two options. Either I don't eat and can somewhat live with the knowledge that even though I have a belly, I don't weight as much as I used to. Or I can figure out a way to accept that if I wanted to have a toned stomach, I'd have to work out a few times a week and since I'm too lazy to do that, I'll just have to live with the belly that I have.
Thursday, July 9, 2009
"Going to California, yes
To resurrect my soul
The sun is always shining, shining
Or at least that's what I'm told
I'm going to California
Theres a better life for me, yes
Going to California
I'll write and tell you what I see
I'm going to California
Somebody say a prayer for me"
'Going to California' ~ Pink
"Take me to the place where the sunshine flows
Oh my Sunset Rodeo
Hot fudge here comes the judge
There's just a green card in the way
The Holy Ghost and the whole East Coast
Are moving to L.A.
'Cause we've been dreaming of this feeling since 1988
Mother things have got to change
I'm moving to L.A."
'Hot Fudge' ~ Robbie Williams (Well, not LA and no green card so far, but almost)
The last two nights, I cried over the uncertainty of my future. I was scared shitless that I wouldn't be able to move to the States and how that would affect my life. But today, I finally was told that I got into college in California! I
was so relieved and happy. There are a thousand things that I have to do and organize and orientation takes place not even a month from now, so I'll be super-busy. I think the news hasn't even really settled in, especially since I haven't booked a flight yet. But I am super-excited and just have to smile every time I think about it.
That's all for now, but there sure is more to come!