Happy National Coming Out Day

Today is National Coming Out Day. I have struggled with coming out and am still uncertain when to refer to my girlfriend as my girlfriend and when to say 'my best friend'. I hate, hate, hate lying about our relationship, but sometimes it is just difficult to be perfectly honest. All I know is that being out and open is important for our community, which is why I try to be out as much as I possibly can and why I joined the LGBT-club on campus.

Being out is difficult. Every member of my community knows that and has encountered some kind of discrimination. But as AfterEllen's tag-line states 'Because visibility matters' - visibility does matter. So come out to your family, your friends and be open - as much as you can!

Pride Parade

Tomorrow, Austria's biggest (only?) Pride Parade will take place in Vienna. I've never been. In the last two years, something always came up and this year, I can't go either. I'm a little sad, but there is so much on my mind right now that it barely makes a difference. The only Pride Parade I've been to was in Amsterdam and it was pretty amazing. To be in a town full of LGBTQ people celebrating their identity is very empowering. However, I was with a friend and we didn't know anyone else and didn't speak the language, so we couldn't enjoy the parties at night as much as we would have in a group of people.

Looking at pictures from Pride Parades in San Francisco (Malinda Lo, Lesbian Dad) makes me really wish I could have gone too. I probably won't be able to go to any Pride Parades in the States next year, since if I'll be studying there I will be home in June. There's hoping that I'll be able to go to Vienna, but it's impossible to plan ahead a year right now.

So, to all the people going to the parade in Vienna - Enjoy Pride! I hope it doesn't rain and I'm with you in thought!

Pronouns

I wasn't going to comment on it, but now I'm getting a bit frustrated with people's inability to refer to Chaz Bono as 'he'. From the press statement that he released, I think it is pretty obivous that Chaz identifies as male. Why is that so hard to understand?

Yes, Chasity Bono was born biologically female. But he came to the very personal conclusion that he was male and while he might not haven gotten surgery yet, that has nothing to do with the fact that he identifies as male. I don't know much about transitioning or transgender people in general, but with the little knowledge I have it seems pretty obvious that when someone identifies one way or the other, people should respect that. Yes, Chaz Bono used to be a little, cute blond girl on national TV, but I think we all agree that those days are long over.

*Sigh*. I just wish people would pay more respect to other people's personal choices.

'Gay' PostSecret

Via PostSecret (5/31/2009):

I don't feel guilty about being gay. Sometimes I'm even very, very happy that I'm gay. I usually don't judge people's feelings, but that statement angers me because it basically says that being gay is caused by sexual abuse and I don't think that that's true. How can you wish for something horrible to have happened in your past? I guess for some people being gay is harder than for others and that saddens me.

New lawsuit against Prop 8

I'm pretty excited about this lawsuit because I think that they have a chance at winning this lawsuit and it would be on a federal level. The way I understand it, if this goes through (which might take years), marriage on a federal level would be so much more of a realistic possibility than it is now. Why does that make a difference to me? Because right now, if I married my girlfriend in one of the 5 states where it is legal, that would not change anything about my immigration status. If I married a man, I could apply for citizenship after 3 years of marriage and in those three years of marriage I could stay and work in the US under what is called a 'K visa'. And that right there is discrimination.

Sex With Ducks

I can't stop laughing!!! These two girls are so awesome, check out their other videos too! Their band is called 'Garfunkel and Oates', Riki Lindhome is Garfunkel and Kate Micucci is Oates, both of them are actresses as well. Via Britisshameless

Coming out story - Part Three

Voilà: Part One and Part Two

So by age 18, I was out to my parents and to my friends and I was starting to meet other LGBT people. I wasn't really out at school, since I didn't want people to talk about me more than they already did and I felt no need to be out to people who didn't like me to begin with. I wasn't in your face out but I was comfortable with my sexuality and with the people in my life knowing. When I first started going to LGBT-events, I lied to my mom and made up excuses to where I was really going, but after three or four of these lies I thought to myself 'She dealt with me being gay, she might as well deal with me knowing gay people'. My parents had told me that they didn't want me to tell anyone that I was gay and they were slightly disappointed/uncomfortable when I told them that my friends all already knew.

So things pretty much stayed the same in that area until I graduated from high school and moved to a different town to study there. I didn't know anyone and had to make new friend and had to come out all over again. People never think that I might be gay because I don't 'look gay', or as I call it, 'I don't look like the stereotype', so it always comes as a surprise to people. The difficulty I encountered, which I think is pretty universal among members of this community, is not knowing how someone might react. There are many people who don't know or think that they don't know anyone queer and they very happily live in their heterocentric world. Most of them don't even have that much of an opinion on gay people, since they pretty much are oblivious to it. They know that homosexuality exists, but it's a very abstract thing that has nothing to do with their lives. So even with nice people you can get weird or bad reactions to your coming out. The point is, you just never know.

I decided that I didn't want it to be a big deal, but I also wasn't going to go back into the closet. So when I started being friends with two girls I am still friends with I told them pretty soon, basically by saying that I wasn't into the kind of girls that were at the bar we were at. Their reaction was basically, 'Oh, okay' and they asked me a few things about how I found out and things that had to do with me being gay. I was positively surprised by their reaction, since one of them is Catholic and I wasn't sure how religious she was. I got the best reaction ever from one girl who is pretty much the obvious outsider that I am too. I told her that I was gay straight out and she said 'Wow, how cool! So do you have a girlfriend?' She went through very similar experiences in highschool (being bullied and picked on) and so she has that compassion and respect for outsiders that I feel one has when they grow up with these experiences. Since those three people were the only ones I was really friends with and how were more than just acquaintances, they were the only ones I told. The other people who knew me and these friends basically found out by hearing me talk about it with my friends.

Until I met my girlfriend, being gay and out was often more of a theoretical concept. Unless I told someone, nobody knew and since I didn't have a girlfriend, it was easy not to talk about it with people who didn't know me well. Of course, all of that changed when I started dating my baby. I'll write about that in Part Four.

Oh God, shoot me already!

I watched an episode of 'The Tyra Banks Show' today, titled 'Gay is the new Black', a show dealing with the LGBT rights movement. I was, obviously, pretty infuriated by what some of the people said and so I wanted to write down a few things. If, and I say that with a BIG if, I had to ever discuss marriage with a Christian fundamentalist, here's what I would very calmly explain:

• Being gay is not a choice. No one in their right mind would wake up one day and say to themselves 'Today, I want to be discriminated against, treated like a second class citizen, called names and stared at.' If being gay was a choice, then homosexuality wouldn't exist in parts of Africa, Southern Asia, parts of The Middle East and parts of Central Asia because there, being gay is illegal, with penalties ranging from fines to death sentences. Who would want to be executed based on a choice? (Source)
• Marriage has been continuously redefined throughout history. In ancient Europe 'marriage was more or less a business agreement between two families who arranged the marriages of their children' (source). In 1967, the American Supreme Court overturned the ban on interracial marriage. That happened just 42 years ago! (You can find an interesting timeline to the history of civil marriage in the US here.)
• Jesus was friends with the outcasts, he talked about love and humility and turning the other cheek and forgiveness of sin. "Let the person among you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her." Hate and judgment are not Christian values.
• Maybe the most important point: Marriage equality is not about the church. Equality is about the law. Religious freedom is protected by the law just as gay rights should be. No person in their right mind would try to force your church to marry gay couples. Marriage equality is about the 1,138 statutory provisions (rights, benefits, privileges) that the state allows married couples. This has nothing to do with your church or your religion or your faith. It only has to do with equal protection under the law.

Now that I've written down the most important points I would mention, I feel slightly better because all of that makes perfect sense. But when I think about it I just get frustrated again because I KNOW that it is pretty much impossible to get these points across to a religious fundamentalist. Mainly because they have God on their side and if God is on their side, they are invincible! *Big Sigh* And that is why I try to stay away from overly religious people and not get sucked into discussions like that, because there is just no way I can have a decent conversation about this.

I have to quote Tyra because she said something really true and beautiful: "I do respect everybody for their beliefs, you know, I respect this side and I respect this side, everybody is entitled to their opinion, but one thing that is important to me is realizing pain in a human being and whatever you believe, whether you don't approve, [...] how they live their life. To me, what hurts is the lack of empathy for pain. Not gay, not straight, but pain."

Coming out story - Part Two

Part One

Even though I knew that I was gay by age 15, I didn't know anyone else who was gay. I knew about a girl who went to the same junior high school and about the rumors that she was gay, but that was it. At 16/17, I tried to meet other gay teens through going to a gay bar, but that was one Epic Fail. The gay bars in my hometown were in fact 'gay' bars, as in gay guys. I didn't really know where to go and I wasn't out or bold enough to go to the local LGBT-center. I had looked at its website, but most pictures had either old women or young men on them, so it wasn't that appealing to me. When I was 18, a friend of mine informed me of this LGBT event that was taking place in our city hall and invited me to go. So I went there, with her and another friend of hers, not knowing anyone and slightly scared of what would happen. The event itself was nice and interesting, an award was given for special commitment to the LGBT community and I met a really nice guy who told me about the local youth group.

A few weeks later, I went to the regular local lesbian gathering and again met some really nice people. Most ladies at that event were definitely way older than I was (10-20 years) and knew each other really well, so I knew that I wouldn't fit in well. But, the person who organized this event also co-organized the youth even that I had already been invited to. So that was one of the next events that I went to. Through the youth group and the LGBT-group at our local university I got to meet some really nice queer people who were more within my age range and I made some friends. I finally had a sense of community and belonging that I had been missing all my life.

As far as I remember, I came out to my parents about 9 months before I first went to these events. I still know exactly when I came out to my parents, I just don't quite remember when these events took place. I can remember that I just couldn't handle the lies anymore. I had a great relationship with my mom and I felt like I was keeping this big part of who I was and am from her. So I decided that I would just tell her and see how it went. I talked about it to my best friend but her reaction simply was 'They are your family, they'll always love you.' While in theory this is true, I knew that coming out to my parents wasn't going to be that easy and there was always the chance that they wouldn't love me anymore. So I went and talked to the one person I knew would be able to actually support and help me in this situation - my teacher. In one of the 15 minute breaks we had daily at school I approached her and told her that there was something I wanted to talk to her about. I remember that I was incredibly nervous and that I was shaking a lot and tried like hell to hide the fact that I was shaking. I was so nervous that I just flat out told her that I was going to tell my parents that I was gay. Her reaction was a really positive one, in that she said she would of course talk to me and try to help me in the best way she could but that she didn't really have any experience with the subject. I let go of a big sigh of relieve and took a deep breath to face the challenge still ahead. I think either on the same or on the next day we sat down together after school and talked about it all, how I had realized that I was gay, why I wanted to tell them and what I was expecting/what she thought I had to expect. She told me that she had thought about it in terms of how she would react would her daughter tell her that she was gay. Overall, talking to her was one of the things that really helped me through my coming out and knowing that the woman I had admired for so long didn't think anything bad about me simply because I was gay gave me a lot of strength.

Two or three days later, I was sitting on the kitchen counter, my mom was doing dishes, when I told her that we had to talk. Then I just said 'I'm gay'. I don't actually remember myself saying that, I just remember the moment before and her reaction. She laughed and thought that I was joking, but when she turned around and looked at me she realized I wasn't. She asked how I suddenly came up with that idea and I told her that I'd known for a while. Then she asked when I was going to tell my dad and I said that I wasn't sure yet and that I would rather wait. My mom told me that she loved me, which is something I was and still am really grateful for, but I knew that she was shaken up. When my dad came home later that day, she asked me again when I was going to tell him and when I saw the look on her face that said 'I can't keep this a secret from him', I decided to tell him right away. He too thought that I was joking at first and then he poured himself a glass of alcohol and told me that he still loved me, but that he needed a drink. All in all it went by better than I had expected, as I had prepared myself for the worst case scenario. It took a while for the shock to sink in and a few days later my mom came and talked to me and she actually cried. They didn't want me to have children and my mom wanted me to see a doctor to see if there was a chemical imbalance in my body that had 'caused this'. I played along because I knew that it was important for her and I also knew that that was not the case, so I didn't have anything to fear. Incidentally, the doctor she wanted me to see told her that she should be proud of me for having the strength to tell her and that I was on the right path.

Part Three will follow soon...

Quote of the Week

"And certainly, when society fails to tell your story, there is an unspoken message, that the story is not worth telling. [...] To love, that is the larger task which connects us all. That is the narrative to which I hope we all can strive. [...] And when two people love each one another, that in and of itself is a miracle and a blessing. [....] Love is by definition sacred. Not some love between some people, but all love between all people. How could anyone say that one person's love is more sacred than another person's? If it is indeed love, it is sanctified. If it is indeed love, the right to marriage is not questionable."

The amazingly beautiful and eloquent Jennifer Beals, Glaad Media Awards June 11th 2005

Coming out story - Part One

I read FosterEema and FosterAbba's coming out stories at their blog, Navigating the Maze: Foster Parenting and Life and that inspired me to write down my coming out story. I'll split it up into a number of posts, since it's been a few years.

When I was a little girl, I was always way more drawn to women than to men. I had crushes on the girls on 'Baywatch' and on real women in my life, even though I didn't realize that that was what it was. I can still remember having a huge crush on my parent's co-worker when I was about 13 or 14. At the time I thought that I wanted to be LIKE her, not be WITH her. I also wanted Chris and Cory on 'Pacific Blue' to date when they moved in together, even though their relationship clearly was only a best friends friendship. In junior high school, aged 10-14, I always felt different. I couldn't put my finger on it, but I just knew that I was.

I did have two 'boyfriends', but we were really only best friends. I liked them a lot, but looking back I think it was more about the experience of 'being in love' than actually being in love, if that makes sense. I held hands and cuddled with both of them, but with the first it was clear, at least to me, that that was all that was going to happen. With the second, I felt like I wasn't ready, when in reality, the thought of kissing him made me want to literally throw up. I guess I did really think that that meant that I wasn't ready for kissing, I don't think that I was aware of homosexuality or its existence (Meaning that I might have known about it in abstract terms, but it never crossed my mind).

Things started to make more sense to me when I entered high school and completely fell for a female teacher at 15. I was going through a rough time and didn't have anyone to talk to and she had told us that we could always tell her about our problems so I did. My mother was ill and my friends didn't really understand how I felt and her adult view on things helped me a great deal. The way she treated me was new to me, because she actually listened to what I had to say and she took me seriously. I wasn't used to being treated that way by an adult and so I fell for her, hard. When I came out to my friends later that year, the difficult part wasn't that I was gay but that I was in love with her. It took me a while to tell all of my friends (not that I had that many, but still) and there were times where they did react in a negative way.

I can remember one specific incident that happened in the second or third year of high school. We all went out for Halloween and got drunk. A friend of mine brought a friend that I'd only met once before and I crushed on her. It seems that I flirted with her and played footsies, even though I have no recollection of that because I was drunk and not aware of what I was doing. Two of my friends went back home with me to stay there for the night and one of them freaked out on the bus. She told me that I couldn't just flirt with our friends and that that was different to being in love with a teacher and that she was our friend so she was off-limits. Which I guess was weird because we all only knew her very loosely and had just met her for the second or third time. I guess that that friend of mine wasn't as cool about me being gay than she and I both had thought. After that, we never talked about it again and I wrote it off as her being drunk. She did though, two years later, accuse me of trying to steal her BOYfriend, after she had broken off most contact because of him (We still went to school and dancing lessons together, which is where I apparently flirted with him). Yeah, still not sure if she really understood the concept of me being gay, even though she did think that gay's should have equal rights and shouldn't be treated any different (or so she said).

Throughout the 5 years of high school I always had an unusual relationship with my teacher crush. I adored her and talked to her when I felt I couldn't deal with something on my own. I also followed her around on field trips and was way too much into her for my own good. During my last two years, when I tried really hard to be over her, we were almost friends, as much as teachers and students can be. She told me about a few things in her life which to me meant that she trusted me. When I finally wanted to come out to my parents, I told her first and she helped me a great deal. It was weird talking about being gay and how I had fallen for a women when the women in question was sitting right opposite of me, but I highly doubt that she ever had any clue. She knew that at times, I overstepped certain lines and she firmly reminded me of them. Her 'rejection' hurt a lot, but it also taught me a lot. Having known her had a great impact on me and even though things didn't end the way I wanted them to due to an issue between her and my class, I will always remember her as someone special. Not only was she the first person I was really in love with, but she also taught me a great deal about life and love and forgiveness.

Part Two

Perez and Miss California controversy

First off, I have to say that I don't know much about the Miss USA pageant - I guess knowledge from Miss Congeniality doesn't really count - and I don't know how important the pageant actually is. That said, I still have an opinion about what happened during last weekend's event.

I think if you haven't read about that yet, watching Perez Hilton on Larry King will probably give you all the information you need.

I'm surprised by how Miss California answered the question, since her answer was just factually wrong. Americans do not have the right to choose between same-sex and 'opposite' marriage (is that really what it's called??)! There are only four states in which gay marriage is legal, so I wouldn't call that a choice. Four out of fifty. That's 8 percent. Approximately eight percent of the population has a choice, which I guess is about the same percentage of Americans who are queer. That is what really bothers me most, she has her facts wrong. It's not her opinion, it's her facts!

What I like most about this story is that Perez did a great job on Larry King, he seems professional and stands up for his and our rights. Yes, I wish he wouldn't call her any words, but apart from that, he comes across as well-informed and honest about his intentions. He can be really mean on his blog, but with this interview he did catch my attention as someone who deserves respect for how he stands up for the LGBT community.

"You're kind of pathetic."

I received an interesting comment on my last post. And by interesting, I mean laughable. I shouldn't even give any attention to it, but it made me laugh. Someone, of course not bold enough to leave their name, left the following comment on my last post:

"You're kind of pathetic. Have you no life outside of
your homosexuality?

Gaygaygaygaygay. Get a life."

Okay, so first: I'm just kind of pathetic. Well then, I have nothing to worry about. Who cares about kind of pathetic?

Second: No, I don't have a life outside of my homosexuality. Do you have a life outside of your heterosexuality? Because if you do, I'd think you're not as straight as you think you are.

Third: You leave comments on blogs you shouldn't even *want* to read in the first place. Who's the one without a life?

Fourth: Fuck off.

That's all. Have a nice day, whether you're gay or straight!

Milk

"I am Harvey Milk and I'm here to recruit you!"

I finally went and saw Milk last night and I absolutely loved the movie! I got goosebumps numerous times through the movie and the end almost moved me to tears. Since everyone already knows how it will end, they start out right at the end, with Harvey taping his last words in case he is assassinated. I think they did a great job with that, showing scenes of him taping himself where they fit into the storyline. I really, really wish I could have seen that movie in English, because I just know that it would have been that much better.

The actors and actresses (or, more likely - actress) were really amazing and the chemistry between Sean Penn as Harvey and James Franco as his boyfriend Scott made their relationship seem so real and genuine. Alison Pill was absolutely adorable with her curly hair and she and Emile Hirsch were just so funny and likeable and cute. Josh Brolin, on the other hand, did an eerily good job at portraying the tormented character of Dan White, who had his world turned upside down and was completely unable to adjust to that.

What the movie in general did was give me a sense of community that I miss here. Yes, there exists a LGBT-community in my hometown, but it is mostly occupied with itself and its members. The community helps people come out, generally support its members and throws awesome parties, but there is little political activism. I would love to go out on the streets and demonstrate, like they did all over America because of Prop 8, but that's just not happening here. I really am disappointed that I was not able to be part of the opposition to Prop 8, because I would have just loved to go out there and demonstrate for equal rights. Just the way I would love to demonstrate for women's rights, not that these kinds of demonstrations take place here either.

During one or two scenes, the movie seemed a tad bit lengthy, which would be my only criticism. I wasn't really surprised by how few women were in the movie, but it still caught my attention. I'm going to guess and say that at that time, the Castro was mainly a gay district, as in mostly populated by gay men. Overall, I think Dustin Lance Black did a tremendous job with the screenplay (hence, the Oscar), there were just so many lines in the movie that resonated with me. I also have to repost Dustin's acceptance speech, since his words are such an important message.


If you haven't yet the movie yet, I can only say: What are you waiting for? Go, see it right now, buy it on DVD, support it any way you can. Because it's a great movie about a great human being, who just happened to end up fighting for his rights, doing an absolutely awesome job at it.

Amen, my dear queer brother!

I cannot wait to see this film!

So gay

Clementine Ford, actress and daugther of Cybill Shepherd, came out in an interview for Diva magazine. Is it bad that I'm happy and excited about that? She doesn't actually say whether she is gay or bisexual, but the point is, this beautiful, cute, great actress is playing for our team. I get to be excited about that, right? Right!

And since we're already talking about this subject and I've been saying this so much lately, I just wanted to post the video of Dana being "So gay." Because I'm just so gay too.

What the eff?

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

An actual post on this by the amazing Malinda Lo.

2008 AfterEllen Visibility Awards

I love how interactive AfterEllen is. Not only do people comment on and discuss articles and blog posts, members also get to vote on the hot 100 and this year on certain categories of the AE Visibility Awards. In the first round we nominated people in different categories and in the second round, the nominees with the most mentions are up for voting. I nominated Sarah Warn as 'Lesbian/Bi Woman of the Year', but I guess most people didn't think of nominating the AE staff (except in the 'Couple of the Year' category).

I found it really hard to vote in certain categories, mainly because I didn't know all nominees. House is nominated as 'Best Scripted Series on Broadcast TV with Regular or Recurring Lesbian/Bi Characters (American)' and I love House, but how they treat Thirteen's bisexuality doesn't score any gay points with me. I absolutely love Melissa Etheridge, but she wasn't as visible this year as the other three bands. And then they make me decide between Ellen DeGeneres, Rachel Maddow and Wanda Sykes as 'Lesbian/Bi Woman of the Year (American)'. I think I know why they let us vote on these categories - it's just too hard for them to decide ;-).

My favorite categories? 'Lesbian/Bi Woman of the Year (American)'

'Lesbian/Bi Couple of the Year (American)'

• Bridget McManus and Karman Kregloe
• Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi - I voted for Ellen and Portia because they got married this year and because Ellen is so visibly gay this year
• Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson
• Rachel Maddow and Susan Mikula,

and 'Best Straight Ally'

• Brooke Smith
• Eden Riegel
• Jennifer Beals
• Keith Olbermann
• Tina Fey.

I think that list isn't even complete, but choosing just one best straight ally is so hard. I mean that special comment that Keith Olbermann gave was without a doubt absolutely amazing. Brooke talking about how hot Sara is and that she wanted her character to be gay? So genuine and cool. Tina Fey making funny comments on lesbians and Jennifer Beal's amazing speeches? How to choose?

I can't wait for the results to be published December 18th, that's for sure! So if you haven't, go over to AE to vote and let your voice be heard!

Prop 8 isn't over yet

With all that's been going on, I haven't had the chance to comment on the very sad, disappointing and unfortunate result of Prop 8. Honestly, I don't even know what to say. When it comes to issues like these, I feel like my words are not enough and I lack the eloquence to really show how I feel. Therefore, I will let someone else speak for me, because she does it so well.



I can't imagine what it must feel like to have your rights taken away. In Austria, these rights don't exist and as much as that hurts, having your rights taken away after they were given to you months ago must be even worse.

What I love and admire about the Californian LGBT-community and its supporters is that they go out there and fight for their rights. They aren't done yet - not even close - and they are willing to take the streets and fight for the right to marry. They haven't let the result put a damper on the fight, which I think is highly ideal!

I also applaud the straight allies, who stand up for what is right, like Keith Olberman, Drew Barrymore and even Arnold Schwarzenegger!

Rock On!

Got Hope? Harvey Milk

I really hope that this movie opens in theatres here, even though I doubt it.



A few days before the election there was a newspaper article about homosexuality in politics and how there are out politicians in only two of the five parties. The article also talked about one party in particular, the 'ÖVP' - liberal conservatism, liberal when it comes to economic topics - which has several LGB members who are simply not out (no names were mentioned, but they had a source from within the party). While this is no surprise to me, I still hate the fact that if they were out and if we had a real discussion about gay rights, the situations in Austria could already be different.

In Austria, gay bashing and people being killed because they are gay doesn't happen often. The discrimination is more subtle and while people say the PC things they feel differently and if you get into discussions with them then their real opinion is often revealed. Homosexuality is still a social stigma and apart from being out and proud, there isn't much I can do about this. I think that changing laws can lead to a change in the public opinion and I think if LGB politicians within the ÖVP were more open, the position of the party in general might change as well.

I was genuinely surprised when I was at home a few weeks ago and my dad told me "I want you to have children. I don't know how, but I want that to happen." My parents think that having children is one main mission in life and my dad gave up some of his goals in order to be there for us kids. He was always very involved and while my parents were strict and expected us to live by the rules, they also were loving and definitely gave us many opportunities that other children don't have. When I came out to them over two years ago, they were shocked and it took them some time to deal with it, but they immediately told me that they loved me no matter what. At that time, I was still toying with the idea of having 4 kids and my mom told me "Well, this idea of having 4 kids id dead now." When I told her that I still wanted kids, she made it clear that she thought a child should have a father and a mother. And now they are telling me they want me to have kids, even if it means that these kids will grow up without a father. I am proud of them and the fact that they have evolved enough to see that I haven't changed since I came out to them. I am still the same person and if they thought I should have kids before they knew and they think so again, this shows how much having a LGBT-child can change someone's opinion. (The fact that I don't know whether I even still want kids is a whole different story and might come with a different post one day.)