Birthday and the holiday season

Last week I had my first birthday away from home, even though it did not really feel that way, since my dad was here on a visit. I feel like birthdays are something that suck to be celebrated, because they are only actually important to the person whose birthday it is. Nobody ever really cares as much about your birthday as yourself, or maybe your parents. I never had anyone plan a party for me, even as a kid I planned most of it myself, and the older I got, the less fun were the parties. It was always a hassle to try and get everybody together and to find something fun to do and I just started not really liking my birthday anymore. Yeah, I got presents and money, but in recent years it just always seemed like a disappointment, especially last year when my brother and his wife visited on the day of my birthday and so everything was about them and the baby.

This year, I had class and so inbetween classes we went to eat and to the beach, but it wasn't much fun because I was torn between paying attention to my dad and my girlfriend and some stuff that was going on. At night, I went to dinner with my dad, but he didn't want my girlfriend to come with us so it kinda sucked. It was his last day here and I was a bit relieved because I just had too much going on and didn't need him butting into my business and telling me what to do/how to live my life. I got exactly one surprise gift from my parents, which was this little book with political satire that I don't really care about. Yes, I got many presents - a jacket, pair of jeans, new sneakers and a book - but I chose all of those and except for the book those were all things I actually needed. My dad said that the trip we went on was also part of my presents and he kept insisting on the fact that *he* would not have gone to Las Vegas or LA if it had not been for me. I would not have gone to Las Vegas either if it had not been for him visiting, because I had a lot of homework to do over the Thanksgiving break (and by a lot I mean about 25-30 pages of essays and term paper for English) and I would have not been sad had I stayed home all Thanksgiving break. I would have actually enjoyed spending some quality time with my girlfriend, thank you very much.

I know that I sound like a bratty, unthankful kid, but truthfully, I'm not missing my parents that much, like I already said, and there is a part of me that didn't want him to come visit because I just had too much going on and I would have been fine not seeing him till June. As for everybody else, I got birthday emails, but only two birthday cards - from my sister and my grandma - and I don't know if that is because some people didn't have my adress or something like that but I was a bit disappointed. I got presents from my sister, but nothing from my aunt and my brother forgot that I exist alltogether.

Now Christmas is approaching fast and the only thing I feel like doing is sleeping and watching TV. I am completely exhausted from my first semester at College and everything else that had been going on and it just doesn't seem like December to me at all. Even though it is colder now, California is nowhere near as cold as Austria and all the small things I like about christmas in Austria just don't exist here. The decorations here are so corny and there are no christmas markets to go to to drink hot wine punch and freeze your ass off. The athmosphere is different here. If I had my own place to live, I could easily get into the spirit by decorating everything nicely and having a tree and all the little things that make you get into the mood, but I don't so I can't. I'm already hating christmas and we're still so far away from it being over.

This is a really depressing post, I'm sorry about that, but that's how I feel, so there you have it.