Sunday, July 25, 2010

Warning: depressed post below

I'm in a bit of a funk right now. I get these phases sometimes, during which I just want to sleep all the time and do nothing and just lay around - almost like little depressed phases. I'm in one of those right now and it sucks, because I have so much stuff to do.

I might have mentioned that I'm taking a math class right now, which relies on self-motivation because it is all online. I'm at a point where I need to know all the stuff I have learned so far to keep going and I'm noticing that the fast pace is making me unsure in certain areas. I have never been great at math and so right now my head is swimming in all the things I've heard/learned before, but never really knew well. So far I've been doing pretty well, but this week I didn't put in enough work and even though the deadline is approaching, I'm still not motivated AT ALL.

On top of that, I'm working all day tomorrow and the day after that. I got a part-time/freelance kind of job doing interviews for a market research company. The job is super-boring, because you do the same interview over and over and over again - seriously, every 30 minutes for 10 hours a day - and they barely pay minimum wage. The only reason I'm even doing it is because I need the money for the apartment in the US. It sucks when you have an associates degree in business and are on your way to getting a second associates degree, yet the only part-time job you seem to get is boring and barely worth it. I don't know how other people work minimum-wage jobs all their lives, but I know I couldn't do that. I need a challenge in my job.

I was doing fairly well up until a few days ago, when all the difficult things from living in the US caught up with me again. We are moving into a new apartment which is super-far away from college and there are a thousand things that still need to be taken care of. I wish that just one part about my life would get a little bit easier, but it doesn't look like it will. Our living situation is difficult, school is awesome because I get to do what I like but at the same time so much work because I'm trying to keep a 4.0, our relationship is not always easy and it seems we never have any money. I don't even want to complain because we are mostly healthy and will hopefully have a place to live and the privilege of going to school, but at the same time I just wish that the basic things in life wouldn't be such a struggle.

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