Weekend Crush on hiatus

I'm going through a bit of a rough patch, as Alex would say. Honestly, I'm not really sure what's actually going on, I'm trying to figure this all out with the help of therapy and my absolutely amazing girlfriend. Since I don't even really know what is going on, I don't want to write about it here, some things are just too private.

I haven't been very passionate about my Weekend Crushes and it seems to be apparent to others, so I'm going to stop writing them for a while. Who knows, maybe I'll have a great creative idea next week and the words will start pouring out of me again. Until this happens, I will not abandon the blog, but will definitely post less than in recent weeks. I'm still in pretty much the same mute mood.

I have been watching some TV, mainly The Rachel Maddow Show almost daily, The L Word, United States of Tara and The Closer, but I don't even feel that passionate about them right now. So, I hope you will still continue to come visit, even when I post less often and less passionate!

Missing The L Word

I didn't really miss The L Word until it returned. It's not that I miss it now that it's back on, but watching the first episode of the last season made me remember why I love this show so much. It's all about the ladies. Their relationships problems, their friendships and the struggle with all of that. BUT, what is not a struggle, is the fact that they are all queer. This show features a sense of community that I sometimes feel at LGBT-events and sometimes miss in my daily life. I just love watching that on TV. Lesbians who lead a 'normal' life - of course completely glamorized, but just like almost every other show is (Desperate Housewives, Grey's Anatomy,...).

Yes, The L Word isn't the greatest show ever. Yes, the storylines are sometimes so ridiculous that I want to bang my head against the wall (One word: Dana) and the characters are not exactly consistent throughout time. But it is the only lesbian show out there and it's the only show that doesn't promote that Heterosexual Agenda. Others are far better at putting my feelings into words, so I'm just going to say that I'm very happy that the favorite show I love to love and love to hate is back! And how cute are Alice and Tasha? I could listen to Tasha laugh all day.

Revolution on Revolutionary Road indeed

HUGE spoiler warning, as in I will write about the movie's ending!




I just came back from watching Revolutionary Road and I must say, this movie spoke from my heart! I can't even put into words how much I can relate to April, the film's main character. The movie is set in 1950s suburbia. The main characters, Frank (Leonardo DiCaprio) and April Wheeler (Kate Winslet), live their life according to society's expectations: two kids, Frank works at an office while April runs the household and everything seems just perfect.


Except, it isn't. Neither of them does what they really want to do and when April comes up with the idea of moving to Paris, they seem to finally break free from all restrictions. Only, life happens and as their plans fall apart, their marriage and love does as well. In the end, April tries to abort the third baby that she really does not want to have and ends up killing herself. Within the first 30 minutes of the movie, I thought that she would end up killing herself, even if it wasn't intentional. It's understandable, really, when your own husband forces you to live a life that you despise.


I just loved everything about this movie. The music was amazing, the acting and cast (Kathy Bates, Kathryn Hahn, David Harbour, Michael Shannon) impressive and everything about how the story was told was just right. The Golden Globe for 'Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture - Drama' was definitely well deserved. This movie portrays one of my greatest fears - to be trapped in a life that's so ordinary that you suffocate in 'the hopeless emptiness of the whole life'. There are so many great quotes I could write down now, but I just want to encourage you to visit the film's official site to listen to some, in case you haven't seen the movie yet and need some more encouragement to go see it.

Lesbian overload

Is there such a thing? I don't think so.

Kate Clinton on The Rachel Maddow Show:

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

The best part? Rachel laughing her butt off. So hilarious.

My Weekend Crush

I’m shamelessly stealing this idea from Dorothy Surrenders, whose Weekend Crush this weekend is: The L Word.

When I watched Vicky Cristina Barcelona last weekend, I was once again reminded by how beautiful Scarlett Johansson is. Of course I already knew that. Scarlett has voluptuous lips, beautiful eyes and a great body. I also appreciate that she seems to choose her roles wisely, mainly making low-budget, high-quality independent films. I remember watching The Horse Whisperer at the movies when I was young and really relating to her character.

In my opinion, Scarlett has one quality that few actresses have - she emanates a certain kind of calm. I don't know what it is about her and maybe it's just the movies that she's in, but watching her has a calming effect on me. This is something I can really appreciate, because you can't really conjure something like that through acting. Either you have it or you don't.

Happy First Month's Anniversary!

It's been exactly a month since my girl and I made it official. We didn't really celebrate, since we technically haven't even met IRL yet and are still thousands of miles apart. But we're making the most of the situation, talking on the phone for hours on end every other day. It's weird, how much can change in one month.

And yes, we are the pathetic saps who think of something like this in a special way. But, I'm enjoying the hell out of this, so why would I care? I am a romantic, after all.

My Weekend in Movies

Last weekend, I managed to watch two (*YAY*) movies, first Australia on Friday, then Vicky Cristina Barcelona on Saturday.

With all the negative press Australia has received, I was positively surprised by how much I liked it. The love story between Lady Sarah Ashley (Nicole Kidman) and Drover (Hugh Jackman) was nice, but what really held my attention was Nullah's storyline. Since I visited Australia, I've been interested and appalled by the government taking bi-racial children - The Stolen Generation - away from their parents, mostly mothers. Brandon Walters was absolutely amazing in his first role as a young boy, hiding from the police and trying to do his part like all the other adults. His eyes are so expressive and it surprised me that he was 11 years old when they filmed the movie, I would have guessed him to be younger.

I also really liked how the cultural differences between British Lady Sarah Ashley and emigrants and Aborigines were shown. Sarah's lack of understanding for the Walkabout Nullah has to go on to become a man showed how disrespectful and/or clueless Western people often were and still are.

Vicky Cristina Barcelona was completely different, obviously. This movie, written and directed by Woody Allen, has a very interesting tone and way of telling the story, with a narrator explaining characters' thoughts and feelings. I left the cinema thinking about these characters, who don't know what they want in life, or get exactly what they want and then doubt if it really makes them happy. Last Sunday, the movie won a Golden Globe as 'Best Motion Picture - Comedy or Musical'. I liked the 'sex scene' between Cristina (Scarlett Johansson) and Maria Elena (Penélope Cruz), even though I would much rather just call it a kiss. The scene made a nice visual to the story and I was pleasantly surprised by how Cristina handled the situation. Plus, simple, yet great music accompanied the great shots of Barcelona.

Awards Season - Golden Globes

Ever since I saw the Oscars for the first time in 2004, I've been following the award season with some sense of excitement. Why did I start watching in 2004? Two words: Charlize Theron. I really enjoy the big dresses, seeing all the stars come out to support their films/shows, the suspense and the acceptance speeches.

Last year's award season was pretty disappointing all over, mainly because of the writer's strike and because of all the depressing, male-dominated movies. There are very interesting movies in the running this year, sadly I haven't seen most because they come out so late here (Revolutionary Road, Doubt, Changeling, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button later this month, Rachel getting married and Milk hopefully soon). That's the one advantage the Oscars have for me - I have already seen most of the movies, so I know who to root for.

Despite this, the Golden Globes are probably my favorite awards. The show combines movies and TV, has fewer and therefore mainly really interesting categories and the show is less formal. I wasn't able to watch or tape the show this time, but thanks to youtube, saw most of the highlights, one of them Kate Winslet winning 'Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture - Drama' for Revolutionary Road.

Another highlight? Tina Fey telling internet haters to 'suck it'. None of the dresses really blew me away, but there were some that I really liked:

Madeline Zima - She grew up pretty well!

Salma Hayek - Need I say more?

Kate Winslet - Classic beauty in black

The TV categories were not that interesting to me, because *gasp* I've never seen 30 Rock, even though I've been meaning to for a while. All in all, I think it was a good show and I'm looking forward to the SAG awards and naturally, to the Oscars.

My Weekend Crush

I’m shamelessly stealing this idea from Dorothy Surrenders, whose Weekend Crush this weekend is: Famke Janssen. Mmhmh.

I started watching Alias because a friend told me about this new great spy show with a female lead. Naturally, I was intrigued and I really enjoyed watching Alias. One main reason was Jennifer Garner, who led the great cast through some pretty intriguing story lines. You never really knew who the enemy was and who the friend. Sadly, I haven't seen the last season yet, I really want to know how it ends (Don't tell me though!).

I also liked watching her in 13 Going on 30, Elektra and Juno, three movies in which she portrayed very differing characters. I think her appeal comes from the fact that she can look just like one of us - just a bit prettier and way more talented at what she does - and at the same time, she can look absolutely stunning. Plus, I totally adore her dimples.

On Tuesday, the 6th, Jennifer gave birth to her second daughter. Jennifer and Ben seem to be doing a pretty good job at keeping Violet out of the limelight, even though the paparazzi do give them a hard time (Why, oh why?). Congratulations to the family for their little addition!

Pictures @ Jen-Garner.Net

Decisions

I can make my own. With all the thinking I've been doing about my future, my education and what jobs I would like to do, I somehow forgot that that's not the only area in my life in which *I* can decide. I'm starting to be independent and take over responsibility for my own life, so why should that be any different when it comes to my relationships.

Berlin was somewhat exhausting to me. The friendship just doesn't feel right to me anymore and I'm not willing to invest energy if, in the end, it hurts more than it helps. I talked about this whole issue today in therapy and my therapist told me 'Ultimately, it's you who decides'. I hadn't really realized that up until now, I was always trying to be accommodating to other people's wishes and needs, which is okay sometimes. But if the whole relationship hurts me then I need to put myself first and finally do what I've wanted to do for a while now.

There were some small incidents that irritated me way more than they should have and I had a hard time letting them go. I realized that I have evolved and I have started taking my own decisions more even when there is type A personality around. I have no problem doing my own thing even when the others would rather I didn't because it would suit THEM better.

I am done with the friendship. I'm not going to get into touch with them anymore and if they want to, I'll be friendly and nice, but I won't be out there in the open anymore. I have what I would call casual friendships with people who I tell some stuff and don't tell other things and I don't feel guilty about it because we're not BFFs. That's exactly what I'll do with them. This way, I can distance myself and protect my feelings and find closure.

Of course, like in every group, not everybody can always do what they want and not everybody will always be happy. But it is my right to stand up for myself and get what I want at times. I know that it's not their fault that I've been too accommodating, clearly, but at the same time, I feel like they don't know how to deal with the 'new' me.

So we'll see. I'm happy with what I was finally able to see today and I think that now that someone told me 'It's okay to do what's right for you even if it's not what the other person wants.', I'll be able to really take that to heart more. I think I've not been following my own advice, which kinda pisses me off, when I think about it, but I'm getting there. Slowly, but still. And I am proud of myself for standing up for myself.

Berlin highlights

I'm back from Berlin! It was freezing cold, but we still did some sightseeing. Once I'm ready, I'll probably write a real post about the trip, but until then, just some of the highlights from Berlin. (Yeah, no weekend crush this past weekend, because I had no inspiration whatsoever. Sorry.)

Brandenburger Tor

Gedächtniskirche

Reichstag

A bear for Bearlin

Looking at former West-Berlin, through two walls