To me, a crush can be and mean a lot of things - mostly, it means that I'm not really in love with the person. I can only know one part of a person and have a crush on her skills (eg acting, writing, being gorgeous) and having a crush on a lady doesn't necessarily mean that I want to jump her bones. Just wanted to clear this up.
I've been reading so much fanfiction in the last few weeks and I feel like these stories have kept me sane, at least as sane as I am. At Grey's Anatomy Fanfiction, I stumbled burningeden aka Chelle's stories. I started reading "One Heart Too Many" and I immediately loved it!! Chelle doesn't just use what the Grey's writers gave her and writes some more, she really takes apart the characters, adding complex histories and writing extended storylines for each of the characters in her stories. Her fanfics are also way longer than most, which I very much appreciate because it feels like I'm reading a novel. After I read the first 18 chapters of "One Heart Too Many" and couldn't wait for an update, I decided to check out her other stories. I have to say that "Ready For A Fall" and the sequel "Fallen" are also amazing. Normally, I only read stories with the pairing I'm really invested in, mainly Callica or Caddison. But her writing entertains me so much that I'll read any story she wrote because it's so easy to get invested in her stories. I had to literally force myself to go to bed at 3 am one day because I didn't want to stop reading "Fallen". I thought the suspense would probably kill me in my sleep. Chelle has agreed to me posting two small parts of her stories to give you a tiny little taste. Thanks, Chelle! If you plan on reading her stories, which you really should, here's my spoiler warning! I think I posted some rather neutral parts which don't give too much away, but I'd still like to warn you anyways.
From "One Heart Too Many", Chapter Seven:
"My brother Joel arrives and he skirts the table where I’m sitting. Trevor is allowed to run and greet me ... Hope keeps a firm grip on Savannah. My niece tugs twice to get away, but Hope hangs onto her so tightly that I see her hand turn red and she cries out. Her eyes meet mine and she reaches for me, but she’s not *allowed* to love me. Or touch me. Or come to me.
The truth breaks over me.
They think their son is safe with me as his aunt ... but
their daughter is not because I’m attracted to girls."
I love the things Chelle writes about being gay and how much being out hurts sometimes. Some things she writes touch me so much because I know what it feels like and even when I haven't had really bad experiences (violence, hate crimes), I still feel pain for every gay person who gets killed or commits suicide (just think of the recent Lawrence King murder or all the other hate crime victims.
Chelle writes things that touch me, sometimes also because they feel very close to me. "One Heart Too Many", Chapter Seventeen:
"When you convince yourself that you don’t like people, you really do it because people don’t like you and it hurts less to say it first. You make yourself an outcast before anyone else can do it for you because you can at least save face when it happens."I don't think that that's what I do, because I have tried so hard to not be an outcast and I still always end up that way. But when she writes something like that, it makes me contemplative and that's a GOOD thing! She also has pop culture references, which is like an added bonus (even though I don't get all of them, but hey, I'm from Austria, so you have to forgive me) and her *cough*sex scenes*cough* are very satisfying as well. And I don't even LIKE straight sex.
Unfortunately, Chelle has an operation today, so we should all include her in our thoughts and send some good juju her way!
So now that you know all you need to know, hop over to her site and let yourself be pulled into her world. It's worth the trip, believe me!