Monday, November 24, 2008

Aunt Nelfy

I'm going to be an aunt in April!! My sister-in-law is pregnant and the parents-to-be are both over the moon. Honestly, I'm hoping for a girl. I'm allowed to say that because I'll be the aunt, obviously firstly and foremost, the baby should be healthy, but a girl would be a bonus!

The sad thing is that one of my first thoughts when I heard the news was 'This time for real?'. I don't think it was THE first thought, but it was right in there. The first time I was told that I was going to be an aunt I was the first in my family to know. What happened then is not my story to tell, but I was and am still sad about the baby that never got to live. Rationally I know why things happened the way they did and I can't condemn the decision taken, I know it wasn't taken lightly. It is not my place to judge.

Still, when I heard that I was going to be an aunt, it hurt. The memory of what could have been hurt. I was sad that such a happy moment wasn't able to overshadow the past. I think once the baby is born I will be able to lay the past to rest. I didn't think that I hadn't done that a long time ago until I heard that sentence spoken again. "You're going to be an aunt." So simple, so powerful, so *life*. The beginning of it all.

1 comment:

finn said...

Congrats! Even though there might be past memories that might come visit sometimes, it's still a beautiful thing - so, Congratulation!