Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Therapy is crap

And painful as hell. The reality check that they give you? Not what I would consider a fun activity. Having someone who barely knows you judge you and make you feel even worse about yourself? I could do without it.

BUT, the things you learn about yourself by having a person throw your OWN thoughts back at your face are amazing. I never thought that one hour could bring so much clarity. At the same time, I now need to figure out what to do with this clarity. I think for once I need to do the really hard, seemingly impossible thing and hope that it'll be easier in the end. I guess it is time to take a huge leap into unknown territory and hope that if I fall flat onto my face, I'll still be able to say 'At least I tried'.

So maybe therapy isn't crap. But my inner child is allowed to say that because it's hurting. The adult in me knows that therapy helps and will continue to go there, even if my inner child doesn't want to. See, I already learned that much!


V. said...

Congratulations on having started therapy!

This is a really big step and you wouldn't believe how many people never take it, even though they know it might help them... but it is definitely true that having to deal with everything, and I mean EVERYTHING you're made of can be frustrating, saddening and just plain tiring.
Don't expect things to work out quickly all the time. You'll hit bumps in the road just as often as you do in your normal life, but you probably figured as much.. It takes time to work things out and break down blockades, but if you keep trying and don't mind taking baby steps every now and then, I believe that it is totally worth it. You don't have to go through it on your own after all. =) It helps tremendously to just talk about your problems and lay them out in front of someone who does not know you.

My $0.02 on the matter. I hope I didn't come across as some sort of know-it-all, but I believe I've seen enough to be able to comment on this.

Good luck with everything! ^__^

Nelfy said...

Thank you.

I know, I'm already moving at full speed again, which probably isn't the best idea. But with me, it's like once I take a decision, I'm ready to get back on the horse and sort through my options, be active and get out there. Well, we'll see what the further sessions will bring, but I feel better and worse at the same time.

No, I'm glad that you commented! I appreciate the input!