Finally!

After trying for three days straight, my application for a green card finally was sent. So now all I have to do is wait until at least May to see whether I get one or not. Should I be lucky enough to get one, there are further criteria I need to fulfill and the earliest I can apply for a visa is October 1st. So the earliest I could move is in 10 months. Yeah, not exactly early.

I'm really trying to not get my hopes up. I know that the chances that I'll get a green card are slim, but right now I don't have a plan B. I'm living plan B, to be exact. And I'm miserable most of the time. I know that I should try and figure out what I want to do if moving to the States doesn't work out. But emigrating is all I want to do right now. And I'm stubborn right now.

I realize that I've been debby downer lately, so I thought I'd share something positive with you. Honestly, I feel a bit like I'm Callie. No, I didn't sleep with my best male friend (not that that exists in my life), I didn't drive the love of my life away, but I was pretty clueless. So I 'met' this girl online and we started writing messages and we pretty much hit it off right away. We're really on the same wavelength and we started talking pretty personal and serious stuff pretty quickly. I thought we were going to be best friends. If *you're* reading this right now (you know who you are) and you haven't read my message yet (which I doubt), now would be a good moment to do that.

So anyways, I was being clueless and then things were said and I started thinking about my feelings. Why do I check my messages constantly to see whether she has written? Why am I disappointed when she hasn't even though I know she doesn't have internet at home right now? Why do I want to talk to her on the phone/via skype? I've never talked to any of my online friends on the phone or via skype and yet I can't wait to hear her voice. Why does my heart skip a beat when I see that she's online? I think you know where this is going. Chatting to her today was like the final 'Duh'-moment for me. My brain tells me that this is going to be hard and that I shouldn't allow myself to feel the way I feel, mainly because she lives in America and I live here. Tiny little problem, right? My heart tells me that it doesn't care. My heart really likes her.

And that's all I'm going to say. I hope she doesn't feel uncomfortable with me writing about her, but she knows all of that and some more. I wouldn't tell you all, my dear readers, that if she didn't know. But I thought I'd share the smile that's been on my face all day.